


The Likes of You Again

by goodoldfashioned



Series: Clone Verse [2]
Category: RedLetterMedia RPF
Genre: Clones, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Group Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Peril, Relationship Negotiation, Weird Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:54:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 38,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23865589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodoldfashioned/pseuds/goodoldfashioned
Summary: A continuation of the clone Jays universe! Mike has a surprise for the Jays. It doesn't go exactly as planned.
Relationships: Mike's Clones/Jay, Mike/Jay, Mike/Jay's Clones
Series: Clone Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719904
Comments: 42
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> More clone Jays verse!! This is a sequel to [Can't Get Enough of You, Baby](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23602375). Thank you for all who encouraged me after I posted that story, your feedback made me so happy and this verse is really fun to write.
> 
> This is about the Half in the Baaaaag characters and their world only. Stay tuned for a special guest appearance from that world ...... !!
> 
> **

Two weeks into whatever was going on between him and Mike, shifts at the repair shop were still a little awkward for Jay. The rest wasn’t, even with the clones still hanging around Jay’s place and hanging onto Mike like leeches any chance they got, and Jay got the impression Mike hadn’t experienced a moment of personal awkwardness since confessing in a panic that he’d just had his mouth on Jay’s clone’s ass before giving him what should have been, and still sorta was, a romantic first kiss. Mike was just shameless like that, and Jay couldn’t pretend not to love it, even when Mike’s intense, moony stares during their shifts made Jay snicker under his breath and go all red-faced. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” Jay said, squirming and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Like what,” Mike said, deadpan, still doing it.

“Like, ah! Like you know what I look like naked now,” Jay said, mumbling the last bit.

Mike grinned, sharky and proud of himself. Jay glared at him but was also smiling a little. Mike didn’t just know what Jay looked like naked, in his present form and in several previous others, thanks to the clones. He now knew Jay inside and out, via his tongue and his dick and his fingers, and knew plenty about how to make Jay feel as shameless as Mike was by default, to the point that Jay would scream out Mike’s name, knowing Mike’s neighbors could hear him through the walls, and would barely care that he had when he came back to himself with Mike hugged around him and smiling triumphantly. 

Jay was about to give in to Mike's unrelenting look of hunger and lean over for at least a little kiss, but the phone rang before he could.

“Lightning Fast VCR Repair,” Mike said when he picked up. He always handled the phone calls at the shop, knew Jay hated talking to customers. “This is Mike, how can I-- Oh, hey.”

Jay withheld a groan. The way Mike’s voice had softened told him it was one of the clones calling. 

“Oh no,” Mike said.

Jay sat up straighter in his chair, alarmed. Mike cut him a worried look, and Jay’s heart started to pound. The clones annoyed him, but he’d grown fond of them and felt like it was his responsibility to keep them safe. He knew Mike felt the same, and taking care of the clones was like their shared project, another thing they could only ever trust each other with.

“How long ago?” Mike asked. “Okay. Okay, I’ll tell him. Thanks. Uh, you too. See you soon, just stay where you are.”

“What happened?” Jay asked, already sliding out of his chair when Mike hung up.

“Hot Jay has left the apartment,” Mike said. “Apparently he’s been reading up on human rights online and he’s decided you can’t forbid him from going out and, uh. Cruising.” 

“What!” Jay glowered at Mike, though he wasn’t mad at him, exactly. “Goddammit. We never should have given them phones!”

“They need them for safety reasons,” Mike said, mumbling this guiltily. He was the one who’d convinced Jay to get the clones on a family plan with a phone for each of them, probably after the clones had begged him to bend Jay’s ear on the subject. “At least you can call him now,” Mike said. “Find out if he’s okay, where he went.”

“Like he’ll tell me!” Jay said, already calling hot Jay’s phone anyway. 

The call went to voicemail, but a few seconds later Jay got a text. Jay snarled down at the words ‘Hot Jay’ on the screen, which was the contact name he’d assigned to this clone. Eventually they really needed to come up with some better names, but thus far the original designations had stuck.

 _those two ratted me out already, huh_ , hot Jay had sent. 

_Where are you??_ Jay sent back, his hands shaking as he typed. 

_just out and about, calm down. I’m not turning tricks in an alleyway_

_You’d better not be turning anything!_ Jay sent, and then, knowing he couldn’t control the clones forever, _Do you even know about condoms??_

 _yeah duh_ , hot Jay sent back. _don’t worry, I only let your boyfriend fuck me bareback >:) _

“He’s evil!” Jay said, showing Mike this text, red-faced. “Look at that! Vain fucking-- Punk!”

“Yeah,” Mike said, also getting red-faced. “But maybe it’s time we let him explore the world. And the others, too, um. I told you, I’m monogamous by nature.” 

“Oh shut up,” Jay said, wanting to throw the phone at him. “This is-- Special circumstances, and it’s not like you shrunk from the chance to fuck them all within an hour that first day.” 

“Yeah, but-- I haven’t, since--!”

“I know you haven’t,” Jay said, fuming. “Be quiet, just-- Get your coat, we’ve got to go handle this somehow.”

“How?”

“I can track his phone, Mike! We need to make sure he’s okay, he’s a cocky bastard but he barely knows where he fucking is, on this planet.”

Mike nodded and stood. Before either of them could turn for the back room to get their coats, the shop’s front door banged open and Mr. Plinkett clomped inside, scowling. 

“I got a bone to pick with you two assholes!” Plinkett said, bracing his hand on the countertop so he could point the end of his cane at them.

“Tough shit,” Jay said. “We’re closing, we have an emergency--”

“I have an emergency, goddammit!” Plinkett slammed his cane against the floor as hard as he could, which wasn’t very. “You two stole my birthday presents from my dear friends, and I want ‘em back right now!”

“Fuck you,” Mike said. “We’re on Earth now, asshole. They’re humans and they have rights, they’re not your property.” 

“They sure as shit are! Real people can own clones!”

“No, they can’t,” Jay said, though he wasn’t sure what the law on this was on this. It had to be that clones were people, too, and even if that somehow wasn’t the case, Plinkett could get anywhere near the clones over Jay’s dead body. Considering Plinkett would have to go through Mike first, he hadn’t a hope in hell. “Get out of here, old man,” Jay said, shooing him with his hands. “We don’t have time for your bullshit right now.” 

“You better make time, sweet cheeks,” Plinkett said, leering. “Because them aliens gave me a portable cloning machine as a consolation present, and as soon as I can get my hands on your DNA I’m gonna make my own hot twink clones, if you won’t give me back those others--”

“Oh shut up!” Mike roared. “You’re full of shit! Right?” he said, cutting Jay a worried look.

“If I’m full of shit,” Plinkett said, reaching for Jay with a decrepit, shaky hand, “Then you won’t mind me taking a few strands of your boyfriend’s golden hair, eh?”

“Get away!” Jay said, kicking at Plinkett so he stumbled backward with an undignified cry. 

“You’d better run as fast as you can, fucker,” Mike said, stalking toward Plinkett with a look on his face that made Plinkett wheel backward clumsily, the hand that wasn’t braced on his cane held up defensively against Mike’s approach.

“Fine, I’m going!” Plinkett said, cowering as he crashed against the shop’s front door and Mike kept moving toward him. “But you haven’t seen the last of me! Gah!”

With that he fell out of the shop, literally, scrambled to his feet outside with some difficulty, and limped away. 

“Jesus,” Mike said, looking stricken when he turned back to Jay. “He couldn’t be serious about having a cloning machine, could he?”

“Who cares if he is?” Jay said, waving his hand in Mike’s direction and going to get their coats. 

“Jay!” Mike said, following him. “Ah! If he makes more clones of you-- Well, fuck, we’ll have to save them, too!”

“Yeah, but he can’t do that without my DNA, so all’s we gotta do is keep me away from him. It’s not like he’s gonna outsmart us, Mike. He’s a fuckin’ moron. Here, let’s go. I got the phone tracker working on hot Jay’s current location.” 

“Where is he?” Mike asked, craning his neck to look at Jay’s phone as he pulled his coat on.

“Where do you think,” Jay said, groaning. “North Vine Street, near the Tasty Freeze and the post office.” 

“What’s he doing there? Getting ice cream?”

“No-- Mike! That’s the block where the Manhole bar is. I bet he matched with some creep on Grindr, goddammit. Let’s go, hurry.” 

They took Mike’s car and parked on the street outside the Manhole, which was Jay’s least favorite Milwaukee gay bar, though he'd appreciated it well enough when he was younger and looked more like hot Jay. The crowd tended to be young and obnoxious, and Jay wasn’t looking forward to venturing inside, but he wasn’t going to leave his dumbass clone vulnerable to whichever guy in there with a big dick first tried to come on to him. 

“Maybe we should just see how this plays out,” Mike said, following Jay across the street toward the bar. “He might just be having a good time, honing his social skills--”

“Unlikely,” Jay said, though it did seem like the clones were getting less horny as the days went on, whatever aphrodisiac the aliens had been pumping into them slowly draining out of their systems. “Why does your phone keep dinging?” Jay asked, jaw tight, because he was pretty sure he knew.

“The other two Jays are asking if everything’s okay,” Mike said. “They’re worried.”

“They don’t even like him!”

“Sure they do. The clones just fight because they’re jammed into close quarters together all the time, and, uh.”

“And they all want your dick, yeah, I know.” 

“At least hot Jay is trying to branch out and find other dicks,” Mike said, and he lifted his hands up when Jay gave him a disbelieving look. “What? He’s being proactive!”

“Stop defending them!”

“I can’t help it. I was born to defend Jays.”

Jay rolled his eyes but was also a little charmed by that, which was gross. He pulled open the door of the Manhole, hoping the place would be busy enough that they could slip inside without hot Jay noticing them, and was pleased to see it was crowded already, though it was not yet five o’clock. It was Friday, and back when Jay was a regular denizen of this place the weekend revelry had often started early. That seemed to still be the case, and he and Mike were able to find a spot against the wall near the front of the bar, with a view of most of the room. 

“There he is,” Mike whispered, pointing. 

Jay whipped around unsubtly, and was filled with a level of relief that he didn’t want to own up to when he saw his clone laughing and drinking a beer in the back corner of the bar, seemingly free from harm. Hot Jay was talking to a guy who was, annoyingly, Jay’s type: tall with dark hair and broad shoulders, not as cute as Mike but with a Mike-like confidence that Jay could see from across the room. Jay felt a flush move from his cheeks down to his throat and toward his chest, from a combination of embarrassment at how relieved he was to see his clone was okay and rage that hot Jay was over there enjoying himself without a care in the world while Jay panicked about his whereabouts. He told himself it was only the uncanny resemblance of this asshole to his own person that had activated his sympathetic worry so strongly, and pushed through the crowd on a mission to ruin hot Jay’s big day out. 

“Maybe we should--” Mike started to say, but he shut up when Jay turned to give him a furious look that told him his input was not currently wanted. 

“Who’s going to pay for that beer you’re drinking?” Jay snapped when he was standing behind hot Jay and the handsome guy he’d been talking to. 

“Whoa,” the guy said when he saw Jay glaring at the two of them. “You have-- Are you guys twins?” he asked, gesturing between the two Jays with his beer bottle. “That’s hot.” 

“We’re not twins,” Jay said, keeping his angry stare locked on the answering one from hot Jay, which was like looking into a flattering mirror. “I’m his older brother, and as far as I know, he doesn’t have the money to pay for his own drinks, unless he stole cash from my apartment?”

“I didn’t steal shit,” hot Jay said. He sounded tipsy, but was still perfectly put together, wearing a tight sweater and tight jeans that Jay had favored in his slightly younger days. “Look at me,” hot Jay said, holding his arms out. “I don’t need to pay for my own drinks. Right, um--? I’m sorry, I forgot your name.”

“Daniel,” the guy said, frowning with disappointment.

“Yes,” hot Jay said, pointing his finger in Daniel’s face. “That’s it. Anyway, ignore my brother. He’s just jealous that he’s past his prime.” 

“Stop being a shit,” Mike said, and some of the smugness drained from hot Jay’s expression when he met Mike’s eyes. He didn’t like Mike, allegedly, but he still responded to him on a seemingly unchangeable physical level, drawn in by Mike’s gravitational pull like all Jays. “Show some respect,” Mike said. “Your brother was worried about you. We’re just trying to help.”

“Then help yourselves out the door,” hot Jay said, pointing. “If I need you, I’ll call you. I’m _fine_.” 

“Let me at least give you some cash,” Jay said, resenting the offer even as he made it. “You can’t just wander around without-- Your wallet,” he said, tightly. The clones had no IDs, no debit cards or social security numbers. Mike was a master schemer who specialized in identity fraud, so they were working on it, but it still wasn’t safe for the clones to just flit around without those things in the meantime.

“I’ll take your money if you insist, big brother,” hot Jay said, holding out his palm.

Jay gave him forty dollars, told him to be home within two hours, and ignored hot Jay’s answering scoff, as if that was too much to ask. 

“Call us if you need anything,” Mike said. He gave Daniel a long look of warning before turning to go. 

“That was stupid!” Jay said when they were outside. The sun was going down and it was getting colder. “Did he even have a coat?” Jay asked, pausing in his tracks. 

“I didn’t see one,” Mike said. “You want me to go back in and give him mine?”

“No! God, this is ridiculous! I’m not a caring person, Mike!” 

“You-- Okay.”

“I’m not! This worrying about other people shit is for the birds, and everything just feels-- Insane.”

“Well, yeah.” 

Mike reached for Jay’s shoulder and squeezed. Jay huffed his breath and crossed his arms over his chest, standing there stiffly but also letting himself be comforted. 

“It’ll be okay,” Mike said. “I’ll do all the nurturing parts for you, if you want.”

“Eugh,” Jay said, recoiling and stepping out of Mike’s grip. “I don’t even like that word.”

“What-- Nurturing?” 

“Yes! It makes me think of nipples, and not in a good way. God, let’s go, the other Jays are probably freaking out back at my place.”

Jay didn’t say much on the drive to his apartment, vaguely mad at Mike and the clones, though none of them had really done anything wrong. Even hot Jay wasn’t wrong that Jay couldn’t keep him and the others cooped up in his apartment forever. Jay just couldn’t help but resent the fact that all this drama involving the clones was interrupting what should have been his blissful honeymoon period with Mike, though he had to admit it was the clones who had pushed them together at last, too. Jay had wanted Mike almost since they met, but Mike wanting him back had always seemed like a joke that Jay had to be too smart to fall for, because Mike was clumsy and selfish and not to be trusted with anybody’s heart. At least Jay had always seen it that way, until he came home from the movies fully expecting to find one of his clones with their mouth around Mike’s cock and was knocked completely sideways by the sight of Mike cuddling not just one but all three of them, as if keeping them happy and comfortable was his life’s purpose. 

Mike had also gone into full now-it’s-personal beast mode when they rescued the clones, and Jay had been trying to deny the hopeful thing expanding inside him since then. Seeing Mike taking care of his clones like that had kicked over the last of his resistance. Now he and Mike went back to Mike’s place every day after their shifts and fucked like maniacs before heading over to Jay’s apartment to deal with the clones. Except for today, apparently, because hot Jay had spoiled the routine with his antics.

“I haven’t forgotten that you need servicing,” Mike said when he parked the car outside Jay’s building, and he laughed when Jay punched his shoulder.

“I’m not like them,” Jay said, his embarrassed flush returning. “I can-- Control myself.”

“Mhm, can you? We could do a quickie in the backseat, you look like you could use some loosening up-- Oww!”

“Stop,” Jay said. “We can-- Later. Let’s just check on them. Ugh, see? This is the worst.” 

“Jay, I can’t lie. You’re gonna hit me again, but-- Watching you being forced to care about others is kind of adorable.” 

“I’m not-- I’m not gonna hit you.” Jay reached over to rub Mike’s arm instead. “Sorry. Look, just-- I won’t be able to relax until hot Jay is home safely, as lame as that is. I’m not used to having near-identical replicas of me out in the world, basically representing me, that’s all.”

“That’s all,” Mike said, nodding and sounding like he definitely didn’t believe this. Jay resisted the temptation to smack his arm again and climbed out of the car with a groan. 

Chubby Jay and skinny Jay were both on the sofa in the living room when Jay walked in with Mike trailing him. Both clones leapt up off the couch, looking about fifty percent less freaked out now that Mike had arrived, their eyes lighting up as they approached him. 

They were both in love with him, of course. Jay could sympathize, and was willing to share Mike with them in certain ways, but he also wanted to shoo them away when they crowded Mike at the door like this. 

“Did you find him?” skinny Jay asked, grabbing for Mike’s arm. 

“He’s fine,” Mike said. He patted skinny Jay’s head in a way that Jay would find condescending if Mike were to do that to him. Skinny Jay just beamed, wonky teeth on full display. “He went out to mingle with some earthlings at a bar,” Mike said.

“He’s gonna get himself killed,” chubby Jay muttered, leaning needfully into Mike’s space without actually touching him.

“Nah,” Mike said. He reached over to smooth chubby Jay’s hair down in a way that made him visibly melt and swoon a little closer. Jay wanted to groan and tell both these clones to be less obvious, but there was no point. They didn’t have a clue about social graces, and Mike gave them no reason not to just throw themselves all over him. All they got in exchange was everything they wanted from him. “He’ll be okay,” Mike said, running his fingers through chubby Jay’s hair again while skinny Jay clung to Mike’s arm and stared up into his face like a pet who felt neglected. “I gave the guy he was talking to a good staredown, so. He knows what he’s up against.”

Jay groaned under his breath and walked away from his scene, unable to take it any longer. He couldn’t really grudge Mike the enjoyment of it, because he was at least doing this in part to keep the clones happy, but sometimes the way Mike preened like a king being worshipped by his loyal subjects was more than Jay could stand. 

Mike answered the clones’ questions about the bar and hot Jay and exactly how it had all gone down while Jay undressed in the bedroom, leaving the door cracked open so he could keep an ear on what was going on out there. He checked his phone when he was down to his boxer shorts, and wasn’t surprised to not see any further communications from hot Jay. He hoped this meant that fool was okay. Jay had been similarly full of himself just after getting hot, and his new sense of invincibility had twice gotten him into potentially terrible situations where he was suddenly in over his head with attractive strangers. He hoped his clone shared his ability to flee without apology at the first sign of trouble, or that the guy at the bar took Mike’s warning look seriously, at least.

“I’m in here,” Jay snapped when someone opened the bathroom door just two minutes after he’d climbed into the shower. One bathroom for four and sometimes five people was going to be the thing about this that finally drove him out of his mind, he feared.

“It’s me,” Mike said, shutting the door behind him. “Can I get in with you?”

“In the shower?” Jay said, as if this were an obscene request. He supposed it was something couples did, but it seemed nuts to him. He’d been comfortably alone for too long, maybe. When he poked his head out from the shower curtain and saw the dejected look on Mike’s face he couldn’t help but laugh. “You don’t even have a change of clothes here,” he said. 

“So?” 

“So-- What, you want to fuck me in here, is that it?”

“I want to fuck you everywhere,” Mike said, starting to unbutton his shirt. “I want to fuck you on a train, want to fuck you in a tree, uh-- What’s the rest of that Dr. Seuss rhyme?” 

“I don’t remember,” Jay said. “But I get the idea. I thought you didn’t want to set the clones off by making them jealous?” 

So far they’d only fucked at Mike’s apartment. Jay liked the privacy, and the feeling of having Mike all to himself. He also had to admit that it seemed kind of cruel to make the other Jays listen while Mike gave him what they wanted.

“They can’t get jealous of me showering with you,” Mike said. “Also, uh, I told them I had to take a leak.” 

“Well, they’re going to know you’re lying, unless fucking me takes less than a minute. And I don’t want it to be over that fast.”

“Aw, Jay.” Mike sighed and started doing his buttons up again. “You’re right. They’re already freaked enough about that brat’s jail break.”

“Mhm.” Jay had noticed that Mike avoided calling that clone ‘hot Jay’ whenever he could, probably wanting to spare Jay’s feelings about being less hot than that one. “We’ll fuck tomorrow,” Jay said, pretending that he was cool with this, because he was totally not as desperate for Mike’s dick as those clones, whatever Mike thought. “Do you really need to take a leak?”

“Yes.” 

“You were going to try to pee in my shower?” 

“I, uh. Maybe.”

“Goddammit, Mike.” Jay stuck his head back inside the shower curtain so that Mike would have privacy. 

“I won’t flush,” Mike said after kicking up the toilet lid.

“Yes, you will!”

“But it’ll make the shower water--”

“I don’t care! Better that than you being disgusting about it.” 

“You’re so prissy,” Mike said.

“Just shut up and pee, you’re lucky I’m letting you do it while I’m in here.” 

Jay hadn’t been alone in weeks. On one hand, he was okay with it, especially when he was with Mike, even if Mike was taking the loudest leak of all time while Jay showered. But it was also starting to wear on him that there wasn’t a single room in his apartment where he could go to just sit in peace and watch a movie or listen to a record without one or more clones, plus or minus Mike, coming in to interrogate him about whatever he was watching or listening to and adding their unwanted commentary. 

When Jay was done showering he dressed in some sweatpants and a t-shirt and checked his phone again. He sighed when he saw nothing from hot Jay but told himself to calm down, that everything was fine, and went out to the living room, not surprised to find that both clones had cuddled up against Mike’s sides on the couch. 

This was their usual routine: Jay sat in the armchair to the left of the couch while the clones had their Mike time and watched TNG with him. They were halfway through season one already, and Jay still didn’t see the appeal of this show so far, except when it was unintentionally funny. The clones of course claimed to love it, except for hot Jay, who refused to join the rest of them for these pre-dinner TNG episode watches. He was usually doing push ups and browsing Grindr alone in his room during this time of the evening. 

“Yay, it’s a Data episode!” skinny Jay said, his cheek resting on Mike’s chest while he squirmed against Mike’s side, either authentically gleeful or just trying to butter Mike up so he could parlay this into a sexual favor of some kind. Chubby Jay was less desperate when he had an audience but was already leaning over to rest his head on Mike’s shoulder as the episode’s opening credits continued over the first scene. 

Both clones seemed happy, and Jay didn’t want to deny them this, even when Mike gave him a sad, apologetic look from across the room. Mike had his arms around the clones, tucking them in tight against his sides. Jay shrugged one shoulder to tell him it was fine. He wasn’t a jealous person, and these guys were basically him-- Stages of him, anyway. He secretly sort of loved that Mike had a weak spot for them, too. 

Jay tried to pay attention to the episode, but he found this show mostly boring so far and kept getting distracted by his phone. Mike was in his element, explaining things about the Trek universe to both clones when they asked questions and letting them casually dry hump him as the episode went on and they got bolder, skinny Jay’s leg slung fully across Mike’s lap and chubby Jay scooting up to press his face to Mike’s neck, barely watching the show anymore.

“Maybe this show makes you guys horny because it reminds you of space,” Mike said, fidgeting as the end credits rolled. Both clones were rubbing their erections on him in languid rolls of their hips that were getting less and less subtle. “Uhh, you know, where you were dosed with the aphrodisiacs--” 

“It’s probably more them humping you while they watch it,” Jay said dryly. 

“You said we could!” skinny Jay said, practically straddling Mike’s thigh now. Jay hadn’t missed that Mike wasn’t entirely soft either, and Jay was somewhat affected himself. This was like watching Mike go back in time and take care of him when he’d wanted it this bad, too, and when he thought he’d never get it, or that having it once would just make him feel like a fool and not like it does now, like Mike would do anything for him and isn’t going anywhere, no matter how weird shit gets. 

“Do you want us to stop?” chubby Jay asked, lifting his face to address this question to Mike. 

“Uhh,” Mike said, glancing at Jay for a cue. 

Jay rolled his eyes. 

“You two can blow him,” Jay said, his face flushing as he enjoyed this, again-- Being the one who got to make the call, although: “If you want?” he said, directing this to Mike, who was getting visibly harder in his jeans. 

“Sure,” Mike said, scratching at the clones’ backs as they both grinned like they’d gotten what they wanted already. “If you don’t mind?”

“You don’t belong to me,” Jay said, shrugging one shoulder and opening his jeans, because he was hard, too, and would be jerking off to this. 

Mike gave Jay a look like he didn’t like hearing that-- Already, two weeks in! Jay smirked at him and shrugged again. 

“You belong to all of us,” Jay said, holding Mike’s stare. 

Mike groaned and let his eyes slip shut. Both clones were kissing and licking at his neck, dragging their hands over his chest and rubbing their hard dicks against his hips. 

“Hey,” Jay snapped, getting their attention. They were both breathing hard. So was Mike. “I said a blow job, and you can jerk yourselves off while you suck his dick, but get tissues, I don’t want come on the carpet or the couch.” 

Chubby Jay leaned over to grab the tissue box. They were already nearly out again. Jay felt like he was constantly going to the grocery store to replenish something that the clones were tearing through, and his bank account was getting a little lean. He sighed and took a few tissues from the box by his chair, settling them on his leg for later as he stroked himself to full hardness and watched both of his clones slide down onto their knees. Mike held Jay’s hooded gaze as he spread his legs wide enough for both clones to fit between them. 

“Ah, fuck,” Mike said, shifting his gaze down to watch skinny Jay tearing his jeans open. Chubby Jay was licking his lips, looking hypnotized by the presence of Mike’s dick. Jay knew he’d prefer to be alone with Mike, but Jay wasn’t allowing that, at least not yet. He wanted sole claim on alone time with Mike for a while, since he was still getting used to how fucking good it felt. 

Skinny Jay didn’t give two shits about who was or wasn’t present, as long as he got what he wanted. He already had his mouth on Mike’s cock and was moaning as he licked up and down the shaft while chubby Jay hung back a little, breathing through his parted lips and staring with envy. 

“I was never this feral,” Jay said, needing everyone to know this as he touched himself, watching an approximation of his younger self slobber all over Mike’s huge cock. “Not for sex or, ah. Anything.”

“Fuck you,” skinny Jay said, giggling and lapping at Mike’s cock even more shamelessly. 

“You wish,” Jay said, not really meaning it, and he grinned when skinny Jay turned to give him a curious look. 

This gave chubby Jay his opportunity to take over, and he shouldered skinny Jay away as he came up onto his knees to take Mike’s cockhead into his mouth. He moaned for the taste and bobbed his head before sinking down lower, taking more of Mike in. 

“Fuck, baby,” Mike moaned, petting his hair. “Yeah, god, fuck yeah--” 

Jay grunted and stroked himself a little faster, watching skinny Jay pout as he sat there jacking his own dick and surely plotting how he would get Mike’s back in his mouth. Jay had noticed Mike went easiest on chubby Jay, maybe just because the sight of him was so pathetic, though Mike would chastise Jay for saying so, in defense of his sad little dumpling. 

“It’s my turn,” skinny Jay said, pushing at chubby Jay’s shoulder, but he was bigger and didn’t budge, his eyelashes fluttering as he sucked Mike’s cock, drooling for it. He was jerking himself slowly, savoring this. 

Jay felt almost bad, watching, because these Jays hadn’t been given permission to get any relief with Mike in days. Jay had no pattern for doling it out. He just played it by ear. It either didn’t feel right or very much did, like now.

“Look at you, jerking off to this,” Mike said, giving Jay a lopsided grin and stroking chubby Jay’s hair, Mike’s hips twitching upward a little every time his mouth pulled back. “You like it when someone else does the dirty work?”

“I like watching you get off,” Jay said. “And them.”

“Well, I’m not getting shit!” skinny Jay said, shoving at chubby Jay more forcefully. 

Chubby Jay choked a little around Mike’s cock and pulled off of him with a glare at skinny Jay, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Skinny Jay didn’t hesitate: he dove for Mike’s cock and swallowed it down with a filthy moan, holding chubby Jay at bay with his hand. 

“Hey, hey,” Mike said, cupping his hand around the back of skinny Jay’s eager, bobbing head. “There’s plenty for both of you.”

Chubby Jay whined like this was plaintively untrue and crawled back up onto the couch to kiss Mike on the mouth, which Jay hadn’t told him he could do. Jay let it go on until Mike peeked at him as if to make sure this was allowed, which made Jay smile and also made his cock leak a bit.

“Stop kissing him,” Jay said sharply, and they both pulled apart, chubby Jay looking breathless and wrecked, getting red across his cheeks. “Do what I told you to or nothing,” Jay said nodding to Mike’s dick, which skinny Jay was gagging on as he tried to take it too deep. 

“You said he belongs to all of us,” chubby Jay said, eyes flashing. 

“Yes,” Jay said. “But he only answers to me. Isn’t that right, Mike?”

“Uhh,” Mike said, looking like he was either about to cry or about to come, maybe both. “Yes, um. Yeah.” 

“That’s stupid,” chubby Jay muttered, but he gave up the argument for the sake of grabbing the back of skinny Jay’s hair and pulling him off of Mike’s dick, sinking back down onto the floor as he did. Skinny Jay whined in pain but let himself be removed, panting against Mike’s wet cockhead once it had popped free from his lips. “We can both do it at the same time,” chubby Jay said before skinny Jay could accuse him of not playing fair. “Okay?” He let go of skinny Jay’s hair in favor of stroking cheek, either being authentically sweet or faking it to get what he wanted.

“Fine,” skinny Jay grumbled, and he sank down onto his knees to press his face to the base of Mike’s dick, groaning for the feeling while chubby Jay started lapping at the shaft again. 

“Oh fuck,” Mike said when skinny Jay licked up along the other side of his cock, both of their tongues working on him in disorganized tandem. “Fuh, fuck, fuck-- Jay--”

“Yeah?” Jay said, his voice tight as he started to get close, too, for the sight of two of his clones going at Mike’s cock like that, their mouths wet and sloppy while Mike started to lose it, his hips stuttering up and his chest heaving while he watched them making him feel good like it was their purpose in life. Both clones were probably close, too, their fists moving fast on their dicks while they gave Mike’s a messy tongue bath. 

“It’s not enough, is it?” Jay said when Mike shot him a desperate look. “You need, ah. More friction, they’re teasing you--”

“I, nnh--” Mike whined and threw his head back, pressing his hips up and bringing his hands to the back of the clones’ heads, resting one on each. “Jay--”

“I’m here,” Jay said, trying to make himself believe this as his orgasm rushed closer and the surreality of the moment seemed to slam into him like a freight train, too: he was really here, this was happening, and it felt like the best moment of his life, though in the rational part of his brain he knew the best one was actually the moment when Mike was on top of him after finishing inside him for the first time, saying he wanted to do that every day for the rest of his life, which was all Jay wanted from his remaining years. “One of you, please,” Jay said, breathless and tipping so close to his edge it almost hurt. “Put, put your mouth on Mike’s cock, take him in deep, he needs to come--” 

They both went for it and nearly knocked their heads together. Skinny Jay was just a fraction faster, and he moaned in victory as he sank down onto Mike’s cock.

“I can take it deeper, though,” chubby Jay said, whining this out in complaint and giving Mike a sad, beseeching look. 

“Here, baby,” Mike said, his voice barely working as he shoved two fingers into chubby Jay’s mouth, letting him suck them while he held skinny Jay in place with his other hand and groaned out his orgasm, shuddering all over as he came.

“Let him have some, too,” Jay said, his hand moving in a frantic blur on his dick. He moaned in approval as skinny Jay pulled off and urged the chubby clone to disconnect from Mike’s fingers and lick up the last few spurts from the sticky slit of Mike’s cock, until Mike was whimpering and Jay was coming hard. The sound set chubby Jay off, too, or maybe it was the taste of Mike's come. He gasped and pressed his face to Mike’s sweaty thigh as he unloaded into the tissues he’d readied for this. Skinny Jay sat back on his heels and watched, bright red across his cheeks and jacking his dick without finesse. 

“You can hump my leg,” Mike said, petting skinny Jay’s head after giving his permission.

“Oh,” skinny Jay said, grabbing for Mike’s leg and rutting there wildly until he was coming with a groan, head thrown back and eyes closed. 

Jay winced at the sight of his old teeth bared in ecstasy. Mike sighed like he loved it and moved his hand down to cup skinny Jay’s cheek while he rode it out. 

“Good boy,” Mike said, and skinny Jay sort of whinnied with gratitude, collapsing onto Mike and hugging his leg again. 

In the armchair, Jay was still getting his breath, using the tissues to lazily wipe at the come that had landed mostly on his chest and belly when he pushed his t-shirt out of the way. Mike held his gaze, his eyes filled with longing, like Jay was much too far away, even as the clones crawled back up onto the sofa to hug themselves around Mike’s sides, spent and loose-limbed with affection. 

“Oh god, thank you,” chubby Jay said, muttering this into Mike’s chest. He opened his eyes and looked right at Jay, as if he was thanking Jay for the use of Mike’s body. 

Jay moaned under his breath and checked Mike’s eyes to make sure he thought this was hot, too. He was grinning like he did, and stroking chubby Jay’s back. 

“Mhm, Mike,” skinny Jay said, folding his legs into Mike’s lap. “Please, can he stay?” he asked, lifting his head to direct this question to Jay. 

“I can’t, actually,” Mike said, before Jay could answer. He leaned over to give skinny Jay a little kiss on the lips like an apology. “Sorry, baby. Got an errand to run tonight.”

“You do?” Jay said, tucking his dick back into his sweatpants. He hadn’t been aware that Mike had plans. 

“Yeah,” Mike said. He gave Jay a shy, almost nervous look that Jay didn’t like. “It’s-- A long story, but I’ll fill you in tomorrow when it’s done.”

“When what’s done?”

Before Mike could answer, the apartment’s front door opened. Jay whirled around and exhaled with relief when he sat it was hot Jay, looking a little drunk but none the worse for the wear. 

“Hey, assholes,” hot Jay said, smirking as he balanced himself on the back of Jay’s armchair, bracing his hands there. “Guess what?” 

“What?” Jay asked tightly, looking up at him.

“It will come as no surprise to any of you,” hot Jay said, rolling his shoulders back. “But, listen. It’s confirmed now, okay-- Men love me.”

“Eugh,” chubby Jay said, turning his face against Mike’s shoulder as if to hide from this information. “Shut up.”

“Nah. I think I’m gonna tell you all about it, but first I have to take a shower, because I smell like a dirty bar full of sweaty earth men.” 

“Did you do anything?” skinny Jay asked, sitting up on his knees, glassy-eyed with curiosity. “With the men?”

“Just kissing and groping,” hot Jay said, strutting away in the direction of the bathroom. “I didn’t want them to think I’m too easy, because I will definitely be back!”

“But you are too easy,” chubby Jay mumbled, keeping his eyes closed and clutching at Mike like he didn’t want to let him go. 

“Says the guy who just serviced his roommate’s boyfriend in front of two other dudes, I’d be willing to bet.” 

With that, hot Jay disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Jay sighed and stood, lifting his arms over his head and arching up into full-body stretch. Mike was staring when he came back down onto his heels. 

“What’s for dinner?” skinny Jay asked, bounding off the couch. 

“Turkey burgers,” Jay said. “You’re not staying?” he said to Mike.

“Can’t,” Mike said. He was rubbing his knuckles up and down chubby Jay’s spine, letting him cling until the last moment. “Gotta take care of this thing.”

“And you’re not gonna tell me what it is?”

“It’s-- A surprise.”

Jay rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen, not wanting Mike to see how hurt he was by this, because it made no sense that he should be. After two weeks of fucking, Jay had no right to demand to know the ins and outs of Mike’s daily schedule. He did feel like Mike belonged to him, to all of them, but that was just a feeling, not a fact. 

He could hear the wet click of deep kissing and some softly whispered words from the living room as he directed skinny Jay in the kitchen, having him peel some carrots for a side dish. When this situation first crashed down onto him he’d fed the clones easy junk food dishes and instant meals, but now that this seemed to be a more permanent arrangement they all needed to get back to eating healthy. 

“I’m heading out,” Mike said, coming into the kitchen doorway while chubby Jay slumped away sadly, into the bedroom that felt more like his domain than Jay’s, lately. 

“Okay,” Jay said, pretending not to care that Mike was leaving without eating with them and not telling Jay where he was going, or that he had made out with chubby Jay so tenderly before saying goodnight to him. 

“Can I get a kiss?” Mike said, giving Jay a broken up look, as if he deserved to ask for this or to be sad when it was denied to him.

“Sure!” skinny Jay said, running to him. 

“I’d rather not have your sloppy seconds,” Jay said, concentrating on the spices he was digging out of the cupboard while he listened to skinny Jay giving Mike wet smacks on the lips. “Or thirds,” he said, glancing back over his shoulder to see Mike had snaked an arm around skinny Jay’s waist. Mike had his eyes open while they kissed and was watching Jay warily.

“Sorry,” Mike said when skinny Jay had released him and resumed his work with the carrots.

“For what?” Jay said. “Go do your errand. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow’s Saturday!” skinny Jay said, sounding proud of himself for having learned the days of the week on Earth and which one followed Friday. “We can hang out all day. If you’re free?” he said, turning to Mike.

“I should be,” Mike said. He looked worried, maybe just because Jay wasn’t kissing him goodbye. 

“Good,” Jay said, and he gave Mike a flirty smile in lieu of a kiss. “I might keep you to myself tomorrow.”

“Nooo!” skinny Jay said, looking up from the carrots with real distress that almost made Jay feel guilty. 

“That may just work,” Mike said, and he winked at Jay before heading for the door. 

“It won’t work for me,” skinny Jay mumbled angrily when Mike was gone.

“You’ll find your own man eventually,” Jay said, elbowing him. “Or woman?” he said, because he’d tried to date them at shrimpy Jay’s age. 

“I don’t want a stupid Earth person who sucks,” skinny Jay said.

“Uhh. Mike is from Earth?”

“I know, but he’s better than all the other ones.”

“How the hell would you know?”

“Because you think so! Don’t you?”

“Well.” Jay turned to double check that Mike was gone before answering. “Yeah,” he admitted, keeping his voice soft.

“See, you know what I’m talking about. And you’re me, kinda. There’s nobody for me but Mike. I’ll love him forever.” 

“Oh god,” Jay said, wincing. “You cannot talk like that. It’s unbecoming of a Jay.”

“I don’t care. This Jay tells the truth without fear.”

“Eugh. What movies have you been watching that have you acting like this?”

“We watched _The Princess Bride_ while you were at work.” 

“Figures. I’ll give you a cleansing dose of horror movie school after dinner.”

Skinny Jay whined. He didn’t love the cultural lessons Jay provided for him and chubby Jay after dinner, when they’d all stretch out in Jay’s bed and watch Jay’s favorite horror movies, featuring live, insightful commentary from Jay. Sometimes hot Jay joined them, but he usually didn’t show up in the bed until the middle of the night, when he got lonely enough to seek out their body warmth under the blankets and sometimes to torment Jay with the Grindr exchanges he’d had during the day. 

That evening they all got tormented with an extremely detailed recollection of hot Jay’s time at the Manhole. Only skinny Jay seemed interested. Chubby Jay ate in grim silence and Jay zoned out, wondering what Mike was doing and why it had to be a secret. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to join us for tonight’s classic horror feature?” Jay asked when they were all cleaning up after dinner. He was directing this question to hot Jay, who was mostly just playing with his phone. “It’s a really good one-- Sexy, even!”

“I shudder to think of what you consider sexy,” hot Jay said, eyes still on his phone.

“Oh yeah, like Mike?” Jay said, reaching over to disorder hot Jay’s perfectly coiffed hair, knowing he would hate it. “You didn’t exactly shudder away from him when he offered to fuck you, I heard.” 

“Aw, did he tell you about our fuck?” hot Jay said, cocking his head and giving Jay an evil grin. “How adorable. Well, I’m off the market now. You three can have Mike. You’re welcome.” 

“Off the market-- What? You have a steady boyfriend in that phone somewhere?”

“God no! I just mean that I’m broadening my horizons. Mike’s got a great dick, but there are other dicks out there and I tried that one already.”

Chubby Jay put a plate in the sink more loudly than necessary and gave hot Jay a dirty look before leaving the kitchen. 

“Don’t give me the stink eye!” hot Jay called after him. “I offered to work out with you!” He grunted at the sound of the bedroom door slamming and shook his head. “He’d rather just mope around feeling sorry for himself.” 

“It’s not that simple,” Jay said, going for the coif again. This time hot Jay leaned away and swatted at his hand, evading him. “Don’t be mean,” Jay said, holding his finger in hot Jay’s face. “That’s the number one rule in this house, and you’re always breaking it.”

“I’m mean spirited by nature,” hot Jay said, shrugging. “That’s your fault, not mine.” 

“No, it’s not! I never acted like you.” 

“That’s not what Mike said.”

“What? He-- When? What did he say?”

“Forget it, this is tiresome. I’m going to go chat with my admirers, you guys enjoy your scary movie.”

Jay watched him leave the room and turned to skinny Jay, who was drying dishes dutifully. 

“Does Mike talk about me to you guys?” he asked. 

“No,” skinny Jay said. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just trying to wind you up. Mike loves you the best, by a lot, we can all tell. You’re so lucky.” 

“He cares about you, too,” Jay said, feeling bad.

“I know, don’t worry. I don’t mind sharing everything with you guys. I like things how they are, it’s fun. Way better than on the ship when we just had tests and puzzles and nobody to take care of us right.” 

“You were together, though?” Jay asked. They haven’t talked about it much. 

“Most of the time,” skinny Jay said, nodding. “That’s why even the mean Jay doesn’t like to sleep alone. It feels more normal for us to be around at least two other people all the time, I think.” 

When the dishes were put away and the kitchen was neatened to Jay’s standards, they joined chubby Jay in the bedroom, where he was staring miserably at Jay’s laptop, headphones in. Jay had him take them out and put the laptop away as they all settled into the bed for movie time. Both the clones gravitated toward Jay as if he was a poor substitute for Mike but good enough to leech body heat from, rolling onto their sides to rest their cheeks against his shoulders while they all stared at the TV across from the bed. Hot Jay was occupying the room with the good movie viewing setup, but Jay had to admit he preferred doing this in bed anyway. He liked the coziness of it and the way they would all eventually drift to sleep together there, and just having his clones close to him felt right somehow. The more Jay thought about hot Jay leaving the apartment without him again, the more he hated the idea. He couldn’t forbid it, but he wouldn’t like it. 

“This is going to be a double feature,” Jay said, starting up the 1977 _Suspiria_. “I think you guys will relate to the, uh, communal living portion of this, maybe. And this version isn’t really scary, but the later version-- Well, you just have to see this one first, to really appreciate the remake, which isn’t a strict remake and which I actually prefer, though this original one was done by one of my favorite directors--” 

He broke off there when chubby Jay yawned.

“Sorry,” chubby Jay said, and he seemed sincere when he glanced up at Jay, giving him a sheepish look and settling his hand on Jay’s chest with a little pat. “I’m listening.” 

Jay continued, trying not to be too annoyed that these two paid much more rapt attention to Mike’s long tangents about Star Trek when they watched it with him. The fact that those viewings took place earlier in the day had something to do with it, and the clones were also flirting with Mike when they listened to him, whereas with Jay they were mostly drifting toward sleep while they clung to him, unless the movie managed to scare them enough to keep them tense and awake. 

It had been a long and tiring day, and even Jay didn’t make it to the end of the first _Suspiria_ without nodding off. He woke up to the sound of the credits and shut off the DVD player, then the TV, prompting his dozing clones to get under the blankets. They complied sleepily and resettled against him in the dark. Jay put his arm around his chubby clone and let him squirm in close against his chest while skinny Jay spooned up behind him, resting his chin on Jay’s shoulder. It was a cold winter and the closeness felt good, though it also made Jay miss Mike. They hadn’t spent the night together yet. Jay always needed to get home to the clones, and if he ever did get to share a bed with Mike all night long, he wouldn’t want the clones there, too, to compete for Mike’s affection. 

Jay woke up twice in the night: once when skinny Jay moved between him and chubby Jay with a grunt of complaint, wiggling into the coveted middle spot and shivering between their chests, his face pressed to Jay’s throat while he tried to get warm. They all fell asleep again once he had, and only Jay woke up when the bedroom door creaked open around two in the morning as usual. He felt the mattress dip as hot Jay climbed into bed behind him. 

“Check it out,” hot Jay said, holding his phone in Jay’s blinking, groggy face as an excuse to spoon up around him, as usual. “What do you think of this guy? He wants to meet tomorrow.”

“Shh!” Jay said, not wanting to wake the other two. He frowned at hot Jay’s phone screen and tried to focus on the pictures of the dude who was courting him via Grindr. 

“His name is Albert,” hot Jay whispered, resting his cheek against Jay’s in the dark. “He says he likes otters. I had to look that up. Am I one? I don’t know. I think I’m too butch. Are otters butch?”

“You-- What?” Jay rubbed at his eyes and rolled away from him, burying his face against the top of skinny Jay’s head again. “Don’t trust guys who are into that terminology,” Jay said, muttering. “It’s demeaning, those animal terms.”

“I don’t know about that.” Hot Jay tossed his phone onto the bedside table and pressed in close under the blankets, wrapping himself around Jay’s back and tucking his arm across all three Jays. He settled his hand on chubby Jay’s shoulder with a squeeze that made him sigh in his sleep. “Doesn’t Mike call you little nicknames?” he asked, keeping his voice low and speaking into Jay’s ear. “Hmm? He tried a few on me.” 

“Yeah, like what?” Jay asked, eyes closed. “Asshole?” 

“Slut was one of them, actually. And baby, but he says that to all of you.” 

“Ugh,” Jay said, bumping his ass back against hot Jay’s hips. “Shut up and sleep.” 

“A guy on Grindr told me I have a cock-sucking mouth. Is that true? Does Mike say that to you, about your mouth? We have the same mouth, me and you. The others wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh my god,” Jay said, unable to contain a laugh. “Stop talking.” 

“I’m the only one who ever says anything interesting and you know it.”

Hot Jay tightened his grip on all of them in a little hug, then relaxed and exhaled with what sounded like contentment, tucking his face in against Jay’s neck and maybe finally falling asleep.

Jay was quickly asleep again, intensely comfortable and also annoyed by how much he preferred to have all his clones with him rather than one drifting away elsewhere. They just felt like part of him, that was all. He’d been a very spoiled child, and the one thing he’d wanted that he’d never gotten was a sibling. He didn’t think of the clones as his brothers or anywhere close, more like physical manifestations of his own prickly soul, but with them he felt less lonely in some fundamental way that even being with Mike didn’t quite resemble.   
  
Skinny Jay always woke up first, practically at the crack of dawn, and scrambled out of bed with the laptop and headphones so he could have time with them without chubby Jay trying to claim his turn. Jay rolled over when he was gone, burying his face between his hot clone’s perfect pecs and feeling slightly mournful for the time when he’d had identical ones, though eventually it was just too much work and not worth the effort. Staying relatively fit without obsessing over it had proved just as satisfying. 

Chubby Jay stayed cuddled up behind him for a while but eventually dragged himself out of bed and went for a shower. Jay made himself get up around nine in the morning, reaching over hot Jay to grope for his phone and grinning like a fool when he saw he already had a text from Mike, from just half an hour ago. 

_hey I have a surprise for you as promised!! Took less time than I thought it would to get it ready, when can I bring it over?_

Mike didn’t usually send such long texts, and something about this one seemed desperate in a way that made Jay a little nervous. 

_Just getting up now_ , he replied. _Give me half an hour to get ready_

_sounds good ahaha_

Jay wasn’t sure what to make of that ‘ahaha.’ He debated asking for a hint about what the surprise was, then decided not to bother. He’d find out in half an hour anyway. 

He left hot Jay sleeping in bed and had breakfast, yelled at the clones for leaving their dirty dishes in the sink, and went into the empty office to do a quick workout while he had ten minutes of alone time. He shaved and brushed his teeth when he was finished, got dressed quietly in the bedroom so hot Jay could go on having his beauty rest, and was looking presentable by the time Mike knocked on the apartment’s front door.

“I’ll get it!” skinny Jay shouted, barreling for the door like he knew it was Mike out there. Nobody else ever came over anymore, admittedly. 

“Whoa,” Jay said when he walked over and saw skinny Jay hanging on Mike’s arm as usual. Mike looked haggard and a little crazed, like he hadn’t slept. He definitely hadn’t shaved. “You okay?” Jay asked. 

“Yeah,” Mike said, sounding like he wasn’t so sure. “I’ve got, uh. Some news.”

“News about what?” 

“Uhh.” 

Mike looked down at skinny Jay, then over at chubby Jay, who was standing in the living room and watching them with a look of concern that probably had to do with Mike’s current bedraggled state.

“Mike,” Jay said, recapturing his attention. “What’s happening?”

“Well. How to explain. Uhh, you know Plinkett said the aliens gave him a portable cloning machine as a replacement present?”

“Oh god. Yes, why?”

“I just couldn’t stand the thought of him maybe stealing some of your DNA and using it, Jay! Couldn’t stand it at all, you know, he could get your DNA from an old water bottle, or--”

“Mike. What did you do? You stole it?”

“I, ummm, well, that was the plan, but after I broke into Plinkett’s house and found the cloning machine in his basement, turns out it was way too big to steal, so. I decided I’d just have to smash it.”

“Okay,” Jay said, dreading the oncoming revelation of why Mike had this nervous, frightened look about him. “Then what?”

“It seemed-- A bit of a waste, uh. To just trash some rare alien tech like that without, you know. Taking advantage, so. I was thinking about our situation, the difficulties of it, and thought that, like-- Oh god, I guess I should just. Show you.”

Mike winced, and he still had his eyes closed when he opened the apartment’s front door again and revealed two people who were standing outside, listening.

They were both Mike. Only they weren’t. One was thin and looked just like Mike had in his early twenties, wearing glasses and everything. The other looked exactly like Mike had at thirty, handsome and broad-chested with a hairline that was just barely starting to recede, fifty or so pounds lighter than the Mike who was currently looking at Jay like he was in pain, anticipating Jay’s reaction. 

“Holy shit,” chubby Jay said. 

“They-- They’re you!” skinny Jay said, boggling. 

“I cloned myself!” Mike bellowed, as if this wasn’t now obvious. “This is, uh-- See, there was a setting where you could pick the age of the clones, so, um. I decided to make one of me for each of your clones, Jay. Seemed only right. So this one’s about twenty,” he said, pointing to the Mike with glasses. “My old prescription works on his bad eyes and everything! Ha, uhh, and this one is thirty, and he’s wearing a pair of old contacts I had leftover-- I had Lasik surgery a while back,” Mike said, speaking to skinny Jay, as if he even knew what that was.

“Mike,” Jay said, very tightly, not even sure where to begin as his face heated up and disbelieving rage pooled in his gut. 

“You only made two?” chubby Jay said, looking hurt. “A hot one and a skinny one?”

“I was going to make three!” Mike said, glancing at his clones and then back at Jay. “But the thing only had enough juice in it for two. See, it ran on this-- Juice.”

“Juice?” skinny Jay said, eying the Mike clones like he wasn’t sure what to make of them. They both looked confused and a little annoyed, and seemed to be as speechless as Jay felt. 

“Yeah, so, when the juice ran out, I figured, fuck it-- I’m not gonna leave that thing intact so Plinkett can juice it up again and make some Jay clones at his leisure. So I smashed it up, after making these two.”

“Are you insane,” Jay said. 

“Well-- No, Jay, listen--”

“Can they even speak?” chubby Jay asked, giving the Mike clones an unfriendly appraisal.

“We can talk,” the young Mike with glasses said. “Just not sure what to say or what the fuck’s going on, really.” 

“Ditto,” the other Mike clone said, deadpan. 

“Come inside,” Mike said, ushering them in. He shut the door behind them once they were standing in the foyer, close together and both looking cautious. “Guys,” Mike said, stepping over to stand beside Jay and thrusting his hand out in the direction of the clones. “Meet nerd Mike and stud Mike.”

“Uhh, rude?” the Mike with glasses said. “We’re from the same stock. If one of us is a stud, both of us are.” 

“It’s just a shorthand way of referring to you,” Mike said, waving his hand in front of nerd Mike’s glasses. “Don’t take it personally.”

“Mike--” Jay said, his voice starting to shake.

“Shh, Jay, I know you’re gonna flip out, I know I made a somewhat hasty executive decision about our lives here, but what’s done is done and now they’re here, and look, aren’t they great? Nerd Mike, meet shrimp Jay,” Mike said, grabbing for skinny Jay’s wrist and tugging a little. For the first time that Jay could remember, skinny Jay resisted Mike’s pull and staggered backward a little instead, looking askance at his bespectacled counterpart. “What are you doing over there?” Mike asked, turning to chubby Jay, who was still hanging back, looking upset. “Come meet stud Mike, he’s not as mean as he looks.” 

“Don’t tell him what to do!” Jay said, so furiously that everyone went wide-eyed and stared at him. Nerd Mike also laughed under his breath in a single sardonic snort, but Jay ignored this, reserving all his rage for the original Mike. “Private conference,” Jay said through gritted teeth, pointing to the office. 

“Is he the boss of you?” stud Mike asked when Mike sheepishly followed Jay in that direction. “Should we make note of that?”

“I’ll explain later!” Mike said. “Just-- Mingle with the Jays, I’ll be right back.”

Once in the office, Jay shut the door and just paced around for a while, breathing heavily and trying to control his growing fury while also trying to decide what to do next, mentally questing for some kind of rational response that wasn’t coming. Mike stared at him, cowed and waiting to be scolded, shoulders lowered. 

“Mike,” Jay said when he was finally able to meet Mike’s pathetic gaze again. “You cannot just create life according to your whims. It’s-- It’s wrong!”

“I know,” Mike said, and he groaned, mashing his palms into his eyes. “Shit, fuck-- Picard would be so disappointed in me. I just-- Honestly, Jay, I didn’t think it would actually work! And then, when it did, ah-- I thought, well, just having one will only make the emotional complications worse--” 

“How do they even-- Know English?” Jay asked, sputtering already and not sure where else to begin. 

“It was a function on the machine, you could program certain knowledge bases into the clones. I gave them Memory Alpha even, ha, so. They know all about Star Trek.”

Jay wanted to throw things. “You’re a lunatic!” he shouted, boggling. 

“I was thinking of your clones, Jay! They need Mikes to take care of them!”

Jay’s mouth moved stupidly as he tried to come up with a way to respond to that. This was the kind of thing he’d been afraid of when he resisted Mike’s glib attempts to seduce him over the years. Mike was unfathomably reckless, even when his intentions were good. 

Before Jay could formulate a response, they heard the sound of arguing from out in the apartment. Jay glowered at Mike and hurried out of the room to see what was going on.

“All’s I’m saying is that I obviously know way more about this than you do,” nerd Mike was saying when Jay entered the kitchen. 

“I’m still allowed to have an opinion,” skinny Jay said, arms crossed tight over his chest as he glowered up into nerd Mike’s face.

“Not if it’s that Troi is the best TNG character, sorry,” nerd Mike said, sounding pleased with himself. 

Jay wasn’t sure if he could ask them to stop fighting, but he wanted to, because skinny Jay looked upset and Jay didn’t like the way nerd Mike towered over him. Meanwhile in the living room, chubby Jay was sitting on the couch and looking furious as he pretended to be absorbed in something on the laptop while stud Mike stood looking back and forth between him and Jay, seeming lost. Mike had followed Jay out of the office and stood behind him, surveying the scene. 

“You wouldn’t think so if you had all the episodes memorized like I do,” nerd Mike said to skinny Jay, condescending to the extreme and tapping the side of his skull. “Trust me, when you finish the series you’re going to feel way differently.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Hey!” Mike said, and they both looked over at him. “Stop fighting. You two are gonna be friends, you’ll see--” 

“Do you have any beer?” stud Mike asked, addressing this to Jay rudely. “I really need a fucking drink.” 

“It’s ten o’clock in the morning,” chubby Jay muttered, still glowering at the laptop screen.

“So what?” stud Mike said sharply, turning to him. “I’m not exactly on the clock here.” He turned back to Mike and Jay, eyebrows lifting. “Unless you two are paying me to be a literal stud and get these scrawny motherfuckers pregnant or something?”

“Fuck you!” chubby Jay said, glaring at him. “We’re just as, um. Virile as you!”

“Uhh,” stud Mike said, doubtfully. “Okay.”

“Stop being assholes!” Mike shouted, bright red in the face now. “Both of you!”

“You can’t tell us what to do,” nerd Mike said, smirking like he was somehow enjoying this. 

“Yes, I can! I made you, you ungrateful fucks!”

“Oh my god,” Jay moaned, putting his hands over his face and hoping to wake up from this nightmare.

When the bedroom door opened and hot Jay walked out in nothing but the tight underwear he’d slept in, looking furious, Jay knew this was about to get worse.

“Will you fuckers quiet down, I’m trying t-- Ohhhh, shiiiit.”

Hot Jay stood there wide-eyed for a moment, looking back and forth between the living room and the kitchen, at stud Mike and nerd Mike, then at original Mike. In an unfortunate turn of events, he looked even better than usual, with his bed hair hanging over his forehead in a perfect little cowlick and his nipples hard as he stood there taking in the scene. 

Jay didn’t even need to look at stud Mike and nerd Mike to gauge their reactions to this development, but he did. They were both staring at hot Jay like he was the glistening centerpiece of this buffet of Jays, and like they both wanted a taste as soon as possible.

Hot Jay burst into laughter, holding his hands over his mouth and cracking up like he’d never enjoyed anything more.

Jay knew this would only make the Mikes want him more. Mike had always been most drawn to Jay’s snarly, judgmental side, and Jay had known even before they kissed that Mike loved seeing him laugh hard like that.

“Oh god,” hot Jay said, bracing one hand on the wall in the hallway while he continued giggling at this predicament. “God, of course. That’s amazing. One for each of them? Thanks for respecting my wishes and not making one for me. Jesus christ. You guys have fun, I’m gonna go get dressed.”

He walked away, still laughing under his breath, and disappeared into the office, where he kept everything he’d pulled from Jay’s wardrobe to claim as his own, all the tightest jeans and t-shirts from Jay’s years of peak fitness. 

“Who was that?” nerd Mike asked, with unconcealed interest. 

“What did he mean about not making one for him?” stud Mike asked. “One of us? We can’t have that one?” He pointed in the direction of the closed office door. “‘Cause I call dibs on that one, if not.” 

“Hey, no way!” nerd Mike said. “I saw him first!”

“You assholes can’t _have_ any of us!” chubby Jay said, leaping up from the couch and shoving the laptop aside. “This is fucked!” 

He directed that last comment at Mike and glared at him before hurrying into the bedroom and slamming the door behind him. 

“Oh god,” Mike said, white-faced with regret now. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck is right,” Jay said. He pointed at the front door, hating that he had to send Mike away even after all this. “Get them out of here while I calm the Jays down.”

“I’m calm,” skinny Jay said. “Can I go with the Mikes?”

“No!” Jay shouted, annoyed with him for not being enraged. “Go-- Go to your room!”

“I don’t have a room!” 

“The bedroom, I mean!” 

“Man, fuck all of you,” skinny Jay muttered under his breath, giving Mike a hurt little glance as he left the room.

“Hey, wait--” Mike said, pathetic and holding his arms out, then dropping them at his sides when skinny Jay slammed the bedroom door, too. 

“Great job, Mike!” Jay said, unable to not keep rubbing it in even as Mike began to look like he was going to sob. “This executive decision of yours obviously worked out great!”

“Give them time,” Mike said, blinking rapidly. “They’ll-- They’ll forgive me, these Mikes will grow on them, you’ll see--”

The office door opened and hot Jay emerged in jeans and a tight black t-shirt, a pair of Jay’s old Converse already laced up on his feet and his hair smoothed into a perfect swoop. He looked obnoxiously radiant and still quite amused with himself and the whole situation. 

“I’m off,” he said. 

“Off?” Jay said, tempted to forbid it. 

“Yeah, I’ve got a date. Can I borrow your coat? Thanks.”

“Wait-- Hang on. Where’s this date taking place?”

“Can I come?” nerd Mike asked. 

“Absolutely not,” hot Jay said, looking at nerd Mike like he had some nerve. “Why’s that one wearing glasses?” he asked. 

“I’m near-sighted,” nerd Mike said, looking wounded. “And he got the contacts.” He pointed at stud Mike. 

“Dude,” stud Mike said, approaching hot Jay. “Do you need a bodyguard? Is this a blind date? I could trail after you and make sure the guy doesn’t try anything.”

“Ew,” hot Jay said, waving his hand at stud Mike to shoo him away. “No, I can take care of myself. You guys can have that one.” He pointed at Jay, then grabbed Jay’s coat from its hanger in the foyer and shrugged it on. “He’s basically me, just, you know, a little older.”

“Where are you going on this date?” Jay asked, ignoring that. 

“Brunch!” hot Jay said. “I’ll probably survive.”

“Don’t drink any mimosas.”

“Duh, I don’t need midday alcohol bloat.”

“Is your phone charged?”

“Yes! God, lay off. You have bigger problems than my dating life, I think.”

Hot Jay gave everyone a final once over before snickering under his breath, shaking his head and turning to go. 

“I still think we should follow after him,” stud Mike said, his cheeks flushed with-- Something. Protectiveness, lust? Jay couldn’t tell. His head was still spinning. “You know, to make sure he’s okay?” stud Mike said when everyone else just stared at him. “He’s so little, and so fucking cute, it’s almost like he’s in heat, anything could happen to him--”

“In heat?” Jay said, offended on hot Jay’s behalf. “He is not!”

“You did kinda have that energy a few years back,” Mike mumbled. 

“I don’t want your commentary on it right now!” Jay shouted, and he hated that he felt bad for it when Mike flinched as if struck. “Mike, how could-- How did you think this was going to go?”

“I dunno,” Mike mumbled. “It took me a while to break into Plinkett’s house, uh. I might have been a little sleep-deprived by the time I found the cloning machine. It was just eating me up, Jay, thinking of him making more clones of you and keeping them in his nasty house, for his nasty purposes--”

“But you were fine with making us as presents for your little boyfriends?” nerd Mike said, scoffing. “Picard would be so disappointed in you.”

“I know that!” Mike shouted. “Don’t fucking lecture me about Picard! I made a mistake, okay?” he said, shifting his exhausted, red-rimmed eyes to Jay’s. “I’m sorry, but. It can’t be undone, and I swear I’ll make this okay, somehow.” 

“Have you even slept since you did this?” Jay asked, feeling like he knew the answer.

Mike shook his head and dropped his shoulders, looking pitiful. 

“I was explaining about Earth to the clones,” he mumbled. “They had a lot of questions.”

“You need to rest.” Jay groaned and dragged his hands over his face, unable to believe what he was about to suggest. He should throw Mike out on the street and tell him not to come back. Being in love with Mike was compromising his principles already. This was just what he’d feared for so long, but there was no going back now. The thought of turning Mike and his clones out into the cold was horrible. “Go into the office,” Jay said to Mike, pointing. “And you two,” he said, surveying nerd Mike and stud Mike. Both represented Mikes that Jay had once wanted desperately, and staring at them was doing something to him, activating a grudging sympathy and something else, too. “Uhh, here. I’ll put a movie on for you. And I do have beer. Do you need something to eat?”

Distantly, he saw himself caring for these Mikes and was disgusted that this was his response, but his need to make sure they were okay overrode this disgust, to his great embarrassment. He set nerd Mike and stud Mike up on the living room couch with morning beers and a bowl of microwave popcorn, and tried not to enjoy the way they smiled at him gratefully after he’d started his _12 Monkeys_ DVD for them.

“You’re nice,” nerd Mike said, having already chugged half of what Jay had to presume was the first beer he’d ever had. “Not like those other Jays.”

“Don’t be so hard on them,” Jay said. “They’re-- Confused.” 

“We’re confused, too,” stud Mike said, and he took a big swig of beer. “But this helps,” he said, lifting the bottle. “Thanks. Four eyes here is right. You’re a sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that,” Jay mumbled, leaving them and heading to the office to deal with his Mike. 

Though he supposed they were all his now, sorta, and tried to ignore the sick little thrill this gave him. 

Mike was flopped onto the couch in the office, lying on his stomach and looking miserable. Jay sighed and sat down on the floor with his back to the couch, not sure how he should react when Mike tucked an arm around his shoulders tentatively. 

“Why do they already like beer?” Jay asked.

“I introduced them to it last night.”

“Ah. Of course.”

“Jay.”

“What?”

“I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking, I just-- I thought-- What if I smash this thing to protect Jay and he yells at me for not making clones first? You know?”

“I don’t, no. That’s insane.”  
“Oh. Okay. Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

They sat in silence for a while. Jay could tell Mike was falling asleep but trying to stay awake for his sake, not wanting to drift off while Jay was still mad at him. Jay’s phone buzzed, and he groaned when he lifted it and saw a picture of hot Jay’s avocado toast. 

_I want this for breakfast every day_ , hot Jay sent. 

_Carbs for breakfast every morning?_ Jay sent back. _Even I wouldn’t do that._

_lol u right. Are things going nuclear there?_

_I’m handling it. Stop being rude and texting while you’re on a date_

_being rude is part of making him want me, hello_

_That’s ridiculous_

_is it?? worked with those clone Mikes!!_

“Who’re you texting with?” Mike muttered, half asleep behind him. 

“My clone. Speaking of which, I’m going to check on the others. Get some sleep.”

“Tell them I’m sorry,” Mike said, giving Jay a helpless look as he stood.

“Yeah, I will. You understand why they feel rejected, right?”

“Well, sure, but they were never gonna have me all to themselves. You’re the one I-- Love,” Mike said, pronouncing that last word softly. It was the first time he’d said it.

“I know,” Jay said, as if he had, before now. He shuffled in place and fought the urge to stretch out on Mike’s back and kiss his neck while he drifted to sleep. “Just-- Give them some time. It’s a shock.”

“Mhm, yeah. Jay.” 

“What?”

“Nothing. You’re just so good, too good to me. God, I fucking love you--”

“Okay, okay!” Jay said, holding his hands up, flushed. “I heard, I, uh. I gotta go check on those guys, go to sleep.” 

He left without saying _I love you, too_. Now wasn’t the time, and it wasn’t really his kind of thing, saying stuff like that, and Mike knew how he felt anyway, right?

Jay poked his head into the living room first, pleased to see both Mike clones engrossed in the movie. Nerd Mike turned, saw him looking and gave him a little smile that made something curl low in his gut. He wrote it off as the memory of what it felt like as a twenty year old dweeb who looked like shrimp Jay, feeling like he was finally maybe a little bit cool anytime he could amuse Mike. He smiled back tersely and turned for the bedroom. 

He wasn’t surprised to slip inside and find both Jays curled up on the bed, the chubby one sniffling while skinny Jay pet him and tried to offer comfort. Skinny Jay turned to give Jay an annoyed look while chubby Jay just buried his face more deeply against skinny Jay’s chest.

“Oh god,” Jay said, feeling terrible as he knelt on the bed. “Hey, it’s okay, he didn’t mean--”

“Why are they still here?” chubby Jay asked, lifting his head just enough to glare at Jay from over the other one’s skinny shoulder. “I thought you told them to go.”

“I did, but--”

“They’re jerks!” skinny Jay said. “And big Mike is a jerk for making them.” 

“Big Mike?” Jay said, wincing at that.

“You know what I mean!”

“I feel so stupid,” chubby Jay said, sniffling and rubbing at his face. “I thought-- I don’t know. I knew he liked you better, maybe even both of you, better than me, but I thought--” 

“Mike is a wreck,” Jay said. “He was stupid to do this, yeah, but he really thought it would help, not hurt. He cares about both of you a lot.” 

“Enough to pawn us off on some lesser Mikes!” chubby Jay said. 

“Ehh, yeah, that was bad of him. But he thought you’d like them, that they’d feel like-- Him. Because you guys feel like me, to him. Which is why he loves you, too.”

“He said that?” skinny Jay said, perking up. 

“In a manner of speaking, yeah.”

“In other words, no,” chubby Jay said, scoffing. 

“Oh, come on. I know him better than you. I’m sorry he did this, and if you want to hate him for it, and his clones for existing at all, you can. But I can’t not love him, it’s just not optional, I’m sorry.” 

Jay sighed and collapsed onto the bed after saying so, scooting over to curl up against skinny Jay’s side. Always glad to be in the middle, skinny Jay turned onto his back and wrapped an arm around Jay, too. Chubby Jay was still huddled against his other side, his face pressed to skinny Jay’s chest. Jay reached over to wipe at the corner of his wet eye for him.

“I don’t hate him,” chubby Jay mumbled after a while. “But I don’t like those new ones, at all. And I can’t believe he could be so-- Thoughtless.”

“Welcome to being in love with Mike,” Jay said. “It’s not all fun and blow jobs.”

Skinny Jay laughed. Chubby Jay looked less amused, but also less depressed. Jay reached over to stroke his damp cheek, where his beard was starting to grow back in. 

“What are they watching out there?” skinny Jay asked in a whisper when they heard the low rumble of the Mike clones’ voices through the wall, and some loud action scene in the movie. 

“A movie called _12 Monkeys_ ,” Jay said. 

“What’s it about?”

“It’s-- Hard to describe, we can watch it together later. You should see it from the start.”

“Of course they like the mean Jay best,” chubby Jay muttered, apparently lost in his thoughts about this. “That tells me everything I need to know about them.”

“First impressions aren’t everything,” Jay said, stroking his cheek again. 

“What’d you think of Mike when you first met him?” skinny Jay asked. “The original one, I mean.” 

Jay sighed and thought about how to answer. He’d met Mike when he was barely twenty. Mike had been twenty-two, and they both attended the same film making boot camp in South Dakota one summer. They were roommates at the cheapo motel where the boot camp had a block of rooms, and were instantly glued to each other’s sides, whispering judgmental comments about the others and their movies from day one. Their friendship already felt like fate.

“I thought he was the coolest guy I’d ever met,” Jay confessed. “But don’t you dare tell him I said that.”

Both clones laughed, and Jay couldn’t tell if this meant they would keep his secret or offer it to Mike like an olive branch the first chance they got. He supposed it didn’t matter. Mike knew how he felt. He’d done this insane thing, and Jay was still all in, not just for the original Mike but for the other two out there. He already liked the sound of their voices through the wall, the occasional rumble of their conversation offering a strange comfort that reminded Jay they were safe under his roof for now. He had always loved Mike’s voice so much, especially when Mike was muttering softly into his ear, making fun of everyone else around them and making Jay convulse with nervous, giddy laughter. From the start, it had felt like the two of them were members of an exclusive club that no one else could ever hope to belong to. 

Jay sighed and smoothed chubby Jay’s hair down, still finding it hard to believe that he so desperately wanted to include other people in that club now, even if they did feel like splintered off pieces of his own soul. 

**


	2. Chapter 2

For three days after the disastrous introduction of his clones, Mike kept them over at his apartment exclusively. They were even more antsy to get out and explore the world than the Jay clones had been, but were also placated more easily when they complained, with beer and porn and movies. Jay’s daily visits helped, too, and he was trying not to enjoy it too much when the Mike clones lit up at the sight of him every time he appeared, just as his own clones had for Mike. 

“I watched _Possession_!” nerd Mike said, rushing up to Jay to announce this as soon as Jay was through the door on the fourth day, trailing Mike. “You’re right, oh my god, it was so fucking nuts, and really good--”

“Aw, I would have watched it with you,” Jay said, beaming and ignoring Mike’s labored sigh as he moved into the kitchen with the groceries he was carrying. Mike had brought this on himself, and could hardly grudge Jay coming to love his clones, too. “I love seeing someone watch that movie for the first time.”

“I couldn’t wait,” nerd Mike said, stepping behind Jay and giving him a hug while also keeping an eye on Mike’s whereabouts. He squeezed Jay closer when Mike stayed out of sight, and Jay couldn’t help leaning back into it, pressing against him. “I was curious, and bored. God, it’s so boring when you’re not here. Let’s watch something together now, okay?”

“Oh, hey,” stud Mike said, emerging from the hall bathroom wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, hair wet. He dragged his fingers through it and gave Jay a lopsided smile that made him swoon back against nerd Mike again, because jesus christ stud Mike was hot, and the fact that he knew it made him hotter, unfairly. “D’you just get here?” he asked, walking closer.

“Like you weren’t waiting to walk out like that when you heard him come in,” nerd Mike said, tightening his skinny arms around Jay. 

“What’s going on out here?” Mike asked, poking his head out from the kitchen. “Hey! Unhand him.”

“I will if Jay says I have to,” nerd Mike said, only tightening his grip more. “You’re not the boss of me.”

“And he is?” Mike scoffed and gave Jay a look before turning to boggle at stud Mike. “Why are you naked? Go put clothes on!”

“I concur with glasses,” stud Mike said. “Jay’s authority supersedes yours when he’s in the apartment.”

“What the fuck?” Mike gave Jay a desperate look, and narrowed his eyes when he saw Jay snickering and daring to enjoy this. “Oh, you like that, huh? Figures.”

“I can’t breathe,” Jay said, wiggling out of nerd Mike’s death grip on him. “And it is Mike’s apartment, guys.”

“Then bring us over to yours and boss us around there,” stud Mike said, staring Jay down like taking orders would be the last thing he’d expect to do if they were alone together.

Jay swallowed heavily and followed Mike into the kitchen, willing himself not to get hard for the thought of how stud Mike might manhandle him with raw, virgin need if they were alone together. Jay had come over to Mike’s place for an after work fuck, and thus far he’d still been getting them exclusively from Mike. Jay hadn’t brought it up yet, but he had been doing some thinking about how it wasn’t fair that Mike had been with all of the Jay clones while Jay had only hugged and cuddled a bit with Mike’s.

Admittedly, Jay was slower to open up to physical affection than Mike. But he was starting to feel pretty open to it as he watched stud Mike slink away to get dressed and felt the buzz of nerd Mike’s clinging need for him still crawling over his skin. 

The other issue was that Mike was way more possessive than Jay, apparently. He didn’t like it when the clones edged in against Jay’s sides on the couch or tripped all over themselves to refill Jay’s drinks. 

“You’re in a hurry, huh?” Jay said when they were alone in Mike’s bedroom together and Mike was tearing at his clothes like they had a time limit. 

“Yeah,” Mike said, pulling back to give Jay a dark look that resembled the one stud Mike had just leveled at him in the hallway. “You-- Make me fucking crazy, you know this.”

“Me?” Jay said, fluttering his lashes with fake innocence. He laughed when Mike’s response was to shove him roughly onto the bed. “What’d I do?” Jay asked, spreading his legs to show Mike he was getting hard in his half-opened jeans. 

“What’d you do,” Mike repeated mockingly, and he reached down to grip Jay’s denim-clad dick, rubbing at the bulge there and grinning when he felt Jay get harder for him, filling out under Mike’s hot palm. Jay moaned and brought his hand up to cover his mouth so the clones wouldn’t hear and feel jealous. “No,” Mike snapped, reaching down to pull Jay’s hand away. “Let them hear. Want them to know how much I own you. Gonna fuck the filthiest sounds out of you, b--”

He stopped himself from saying ‘baby,’ just barely, and looked stricken for a second, swallowing. Jay grunted and rubbed his cock up against Mike’s hand. 

“If you miss saying that so much,” Jay said, keeping his gaze locked on Mike’s, “You could always try it on my clones. Three days, ahh-- Bet they’d go to their knees for you for the first cheesy endearment.” 

Mike said nothing, just closed his hand tighter around Jay’s throbbing cock, almost to the point of hurting. He knew what the deal was, though they hadn’t discussed it. If Mike went back to fucking Jay’s clones, he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on if Jay wanted to try things with Mike’s.

“You’re desperate enough after barely twenty-four hours without it,” Mike said, rubbing at Jay, teasing him and watching as Jay pulled his work shirt open and shoved his hand up beneath his undershirt to claw at his chest. “God, look at you.” 

“Nnh,” Jay said, arching up against Mike’s hand and not denying that he needed it bad. “Can’t help it. All day at the shop. The way you look at me.” 

“Like what, how do I look at you.”

“Like you’re barely stopping yourself from knocking over my chair and having me right there on the floor.”

“You think about me fucking you on that dirty floor, huh?”

“Mike.” Jay whined and sat up to fight his way out of his shirt. When he had trouble with it, overwhelmed by how much he wanted Mike inside him, Mike knelt over him on the bed and helped him take the shirt off, then his undershirt, too. Mike moaned under his breath like the sight of Jay’s bare, slightly doughy chest was something new and amazing, then dragged him up so that he was at the center of the bed. Jay gladly allowed himself to be manhandled and grabbed for Mike, pulling him down for a kiss. 

“You’re in so much trouble,” Mike said, panting against Jay’s mouth and rolling his hips down so their cocks rubbed together. “You know that?”

“Yeah,” Jay said, his ragged breathing breaking the word into two syllables. 

There was a knock on the bedroom door.

“We’re busy!” Mike shouted, so angrily that Jay had to stifle a laugh with his hand. 

“It’s urgent!” nerd Mike said. Jay could tell their voices apart easily: nerd Mike’s was softer and stud Mike’s was more gravelly. 

“Like hell!” Mike called back. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s an old man at the door and he’s saying he’s going to call the police because you destroyed his property!”

Mike froze and listened. There was a pounding sound in the distance, like a feeble old man beating on the front door as hard as he could. 

“Plinkett,” Jay whispered, shivering underneath Mike at the thought of that old codger trying to prove Mike had been in his basement. 

“Tell him to get lost!” Mike said. “He’s senile!”

“We tried, but he won’t leave! Should we call the cops?”

“No!” Mike said, and he ran his hand over his face, groaning. “Hang on,” he said, and he leaned down to peck Jay on the lips. “Don’t move. I’ll handle this. Stay in here, I don’t want him knowing you’re around.” 

“Don’t beat him to death or anything,” Jay said, his whole body wanting to protest as Mike’s slid away. 

“No promises on that front,” Mike said, and he winked to let Jay know he was kidding, mostly.

Mike shut the door behind him. Jay stayed on his back in bed, hard in his jeans but unwilling to take them off until Mike came back. He felt a little vulnerable, listening as Mike shouted at Plinkett through the door that he was going to come out there and put a fist in his face if he didn’t get lost. Jay couldn’t make out what Plinkett was saying. He hoped like hell that Plinkett didn’t have hidden security cameras or something. If he had footage of Mike not only breaking his property but using it to make two probably illegal human clones first, they were all in deep shit.

The bedroom door opened, and nerd Mike poked his head inside. Jay sat up on his elbows and thought of grabbing a pillow or something to cover his tented dick, but there were none in reach.

“Oh, jesus,” nerd Mike whispered, his eyes scanning over Jay’s body from behind those glasses, which were the same ones Mike had worn in the motel room he'd shared with Jay in South Dakota when they first met, after he’d taken his contacts out for the night. 

“Can I help you?” Jay said when nerd Mike just stared at him, mouth hanging open.

“Fuck-- Sorry, just. What is going on? Who is that old man?”

“It’s a long story. Didn’t Mike tell you about where you guys come from, and why?”

“Sorta.” Nerd Mike slipped inside, still dragging his gaze from Jay’s stiff nipples down to his crotch and back up again. “Fuck, he’s so-- You’re-- Can I--”

“You’re hyperventilating,” Jay said, sympathetic, also leaking into his underwear for the sight of this Mike, the first one Jay had ever been attracted to, staring at him like he was going to die if he couldn’t reach out and touch some part of Jay. 

“It’s just,” nerd Mike said, stepping closer, “I think he embedded, uh. Some kind of DNA-level thing for you in us, just-- I dream about you--”

“Hey!” Mike said, appearing behind him and shoving the door open wide. Nerd Mike jumped like a startled cat. “Get outta here, what are you doing?”

“I was checking on Jay!” nerd Mike said, edging out of Mike’s reach. “I thought, uhh, that old guy might have scared him.”

“Yeah, right-- Hey!” Mike said again when stud Mike appeared to crane his neck and get a glimpse of what was going on in the bedroom. “No! Out, both of you! Leave us!”

“Fuck, that’s not fair,” stud Mike said, still staring while Jay did his best not to preen too obviously for the clones’ admiring stares. 

“It’s completely fair, he’s mine, now go!” 

Mike had to physically shove nerd Mike from the room. He seemed hypnotized and whined when Mike closed the door in his face. Jay could hear stud Mike still grumbling complaints as he walked away.

“Plinkett’s gone?” Jay said when Mike turned back to him.

“Yeah, I handled it. He has no proof, or he would have gone to the cops already.” 

“That’s a relief. But, you know-- It really isn’t fair,” Jay said, stopping Mike in his tracks as he approached the bed again. “They’re not wrong.”

“What’s not?”

“You keeping me all to yourself while they, uh. Listen.” 

“Do I look like I give a fuck?” Mike asked, stepping out of his jeans. He shoved his boxers down and crawled back onto the bed, hovering up over Jay on all fours. “You are mine,” Mike said, gripping Jay’s jaw in one big hand and tilting his head back a little. “Aren’t ya?”

“Yeah,” Jay said, whining this out, his heart starting to pound again. He was still so hard, pressing his hips up to try to get some friction on his cock while Mike held himself just out of reach. “You know I am,” he said, gripping two handfuls of Mike’s unmade bed sheets in an attempt to hold himself still. “But--”

“But what, Jay? One of me’s not enough for you? You need me in triplicate?”

“God-- Mike-- It’s-- You had mine--”

“Ah, here we go. I knew it was coming.”

“Well!” Jay huffed and came up onto his elbows, bumping his nose against Mike’s cheek. “Don’t be a hypocrite. You know where I’m coming from.”

“Yeah. You’re coming from a place where you need three big dicks servicing you all at once, huh?”

“Maybe I do,” Jay said, collapsing against the mattress again with a moan. “But, fuck-- Right now I just need yours, so bad, please?”

Mike moaned at the sound of Jay’s begging, like Jay knew he would, and melted down to give him a deep kiss on the mouth. Jay opened for him gladly, winding his arms around Mike’s neck to hold him in place. He lifted his legs up to clamp them around Mike’s sides, digging his heels in to get him closer. 

“Fuck, you taste good,” Mike said, muttering this against Jay’s bared throat before dragging his teeth over the sensitive skin there, making Jay moan and rub his cock up against Mike’s belly, shameless. “You taste so much better than they do,” Mike said, pulling back to stare down into Jay’s flushed face. “Why is that?”

“I dunno. Do they not taste good?”

“They taste fine, like clean skin and come and whatever else, but. Not like you.” 

“Is it ‘cause I was made for you, Mike?” Jay asked in a mocking, jokey tone. 

Mike narrowed his eyes and pulled back further, ignoring Jay’s whine of complaint as he disconnected. It turned into an approving moan when Mike flipped Jay over and pulled his hips back so that he came up onto all fours. 

“Gonna fuck you until you’re embarrassing yourself in here,” Mike said, spanking him once on the ass before going for the lube. “So they’ll know exactly how much you love my dick.”

Jay snorted. “They already do,” he said, because this had happened on the previous three nights after work, too. 

“Yeah, well, maybe they need a reminder. They had some nerve, crowding in here like that when they knew I had you half naked.”

“They think you implanted something in them when you made them, something that made them want me,” Jay said, arching his back more dramatically so Mike could properly admire his ass. “Like with Memory Alpha.”

“Well-- I didn’t! I gave them basic motor skills, English, Star Trek--”

“The three essentials.” 

“You’re a smart ass tonight,” Mike said, tossing the lube so that it landed beside Jay on the bed. “Maybe you can finger yourself open.”

“Maybe you can just shove in and not bother with it at all,” Jay suggested, leaning down to rest his cheek against the mattress and spreading his knees a little. 

“You’re in a hurry, huh?”

“No,” Jay said, though he kind of was. His clones had been more and more surly when he came home after these after work visits to Mike’s place, and the longer he spent there, the worse their attitudes were when he returned to them. He’d been asking them if they wanted to have Mike over, but they were stubborn by nature and so far would only shrug and mumble noncommittal answers, still pissy about Mike trying to pair them off with his clones. Hot Jay was of course indifferent, still enjoying one or two dates a day and laughing at everyone else in the household for having emotions.

“Why are you still wearing pants?” Mike asked, coming up behind Jay to palm his ass.

“‘Cause you haven’t taken them off yet. Why are you still wearing your shirts?”

Mike grunted and started unbuttoning the work one. Jay reached down to wiggle out of his jeans a bit. He turned his face against the blankets and laughed into them when Mike took over and yanked Jay’s jeans down hard. 

“Yeah, jerk me around,” Jay said, collapsing onto his belly when Mike tugged his jeans off over his ankles with unnecessary force. “Send me home sore,” he said, turning to peek at Mike from over his shoulder when he was up on all fours again. 

“Don’t want to send you home at all.”

Mike slapped Jay’s ass after saying so, as if he’d been made to admit that against his will and was annoyed at Jay for dragging it out of him. Jay whined and buried his face against the bed again, listening to Mike slick his cock and waiting to be spanked or fucked or whatever Mike wanted. Jay had always been like this in bed, once he finally figured out what he liked, and having to be the boss of three clones at home made it even more of a massive relief to just let Mike take control of everything when they were alone together here. 

“Oh god,” Jay said, moaning this into the mattress when Mike finally mounted up behind him and slid in. Mike still went in slow at first, though he knew by then how hard Jay could take it and how much he loved the stinging stretch of that first push onto Mike’s impressively long, thick cock. “Fucking _yeah_ , unnh--”

“Can’t hear you,” Mike said, grabbing a handful of Jay’s hair to pull his face up off the bed. “That’s better,” he said, sweet and wicked, when Jay moaned again as Mike came to a lung-emptying full seat inside him. 

“Better,” Jay agreed, panting and letting his arms flop bonelessly against the bed, so that Mike was holding him up by his hair and with his cock. 

“Feel better now that you’re filled up?” Mike asked, starting to move his hips in shallow jerks. “Got that big cock right where you need it, huh?”

Jay laughed a little, eyes closed and hips stuttering back to meet Mike’s thrusts, wanting them deeper and harder already. It felt so good, and he loved Mike’s stupid dirty talk, loved being completely in his hands like this, loved everything about his life in these moments when they were alone together and Mike was inside him. 

“Fuck, you’re all giddy for it,” Mike said, giving Jay’s flank a fond smack. “Cock-stupid already, soon as I’m in you.” 

“God,” Jay moaned out, as both a criticism of Mike’s ridiculous sex banter and a confirmation that, yeah, he was right. 

Jay lost himself in getting fucked by Mike, trusting Mike to take care of him and do all the work while Jay just drifted, drooling onto the bedsheets and making whatever noises Mike fucked out of him, unfiltered. He shuddered all over when Mike stroked his cock, just teasing him, dragging his fingertips through the mess of precome, and moaned when Mike’s hands moved to his chest. Mike tugged hard on Jay’s nipples and Jay tightened up around Mike’s cock with a squeak, going so rigid with the pain-pleasure of it that for a moment he thought he was coming. 

“Fuck yeah, you love that,” Mike said, sounding like he was getting close himself. He was pounding into Jay so hard that the slap of his skin against Jay’s could probably be heard through the thin walls along with their moans. “God, you, unh, Jay-- Never, never seen anyone get so gone for my dick.” 

Not even the clones? Jay thought, half-laughing against the sheets. He supposed they didn’t count, considering they were him, too, sorta. 

If Jay could speak in that moment he would have said they were all built for Mike, for this, that he was born to get fucked hard on Mike’s perfect dick, because it felt true when Mike stroked across his prostate just right on the next inward thrust and made Jay come with a broken shout that was almost Mike’s name.

“Oh jesus,” Mike said, leaning over Jay’s back and grabbing his cock while he was still spurting, like he’d need help pumping the rest out. Jay whined and clenched up tight around him, shuddering all over as he rode it out. Mike moaned against Jay’s throat and went still behind him, and squeezed Jay’s spent cock so hard when he came inside him that Jay heard himself squeak again, shoulders jerking. 

“Careful,” Jay breathed out, scrabbling at Mike’s hand to get his fingers to unclench.

“Juh, Jay-- Jesus, sorry, shit.”

Mike let go of him and pulled out carefully, then was on him again, flipping him onto his side and gathering him close. He reached down between their sweaty bodies and thumbed gently at Jay’s dick, like he was apologizing for nearly crushing it in his fist. 

“Sorry,” Mike said again, still breathless. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” Jay said, and he laughed, feeling like that was impossible, though of course it wasn’t. Being in love with Mike made him the most dangerous person in Jay’s life. “I’m good.”

“You’re so good,” Mike said, whining this out and nodding as he pressed forward to give him a wet kiss, pushing his tongue in past Jay’s tired lips when Jay laughed again. 

For a while they stayed like that, basking in the glow of each other and trying to ignore the telltale noises from out in the apartment that reminded them they weren’t alone here. Jay thought about what he’d said before, that it wasn’t fair that Mike had been with his clones while Jay was kept away from Mike’s, and how Mike had admitted he’d known Jay was thinking about it. He rubbed his fingertips through Mike’s stubble and wondered if it would hurt his feelings if they discussed it further. Jay could live without fucking Mike’s clones, probably, but he was curious, and it seemed only fair that he’d be able to try it, eventually. 

“Do you think Plinkett will leave us alone now?” Jay asked instead, reserving the clone fucking discussion for another time. Mike got all vulnerable and emotional after sex, and it was best to treat him gently until he recovered a little more. 

“Don’t worry about Plinkett,” Mike said. “Or anything. I’ll protect you.”

Jay rolled his eyes but let Mike kiss him again. 

Fifteen minutes later Mike was dozing. Jay could also hear his stomach growling. Jay was hungry, too, and his post-sex bliss had faded to thoughts of his clones at home, bitterly waiting for him to return from Mike’s lair. He kissed Mike’s face and sat up to stretch before groping for his discarded clothes. 

“We should all just live together,” Mike said, pouting as he watched Jay dress. “Me and you and all the clones in a big mansion.”

“The big mansion part sounds good,” Jay said. “Sharing a bathroom with hot Jay alone is a trial. And chubby Jay takes the longest fucking showers. God, my water bill is going to be a nightmare this month.” 

“Seriously, though,” Mike said, sitting up. “They’re still mad at me? They don’t want me to come over? Have you guys been watching TNG without me?”

“Of course not.” Jay leaned in to kiss Mike’s cheek. “I think they miss you. They just won’t admit it. You know how Jays are.”

“Jesus, do I ever.” 

Mike dressed, too, and followed Jay out into the apartment to find the Mike clones sitting on opposite sides of the couch, looking irritable. 

“Have fun?” stud Mike asked, arms crossed over his chest. 

“I’m taking Jay home,” Mike said, ignoring the rhetorical question. “I’ll be right back in a sec with some dinner.”

“Can’t we come with you?” nerd Mike asked, his heel bouncing against the floor as he sat forward, hands on his knees. “We’ll be nice to the Jays this time, we promise.”

“Is that hot one around?” stud Mike asked, his eyes flashing hungrily in a way that made Jay both offended on behalf of the other two Jays and a little turned on, despite being so recently well-fucked. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Mike said.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Jay said, and he pretended not to notice the look of betrayal Mike shot him. “I’ll talk to the Jays. I know they’re lonely and bored, too.” 

“Even the hot one?” stud Mike said, eyebrows going up. 

“They’re all hot!” Mike said, putting his hands on Jay’s shoulders as if he would be hurt by their enthusiasm for the best looking clone. 

“Yours definitely is,” nerd Mike said, giving Jay an awkward smile as his cheeks flushed red. 

“Thanks,” Jay said, backing toward the door and crashing into Mike’s chest. “I’ll see what I can do, but you’re probably not going to get the hot Jay’s attention. He just discovered Grindr, so--”

“Don’t tell them about Grindr!” Mike hissed, at the same time that both clones perked up with interest. 

“What is it?” stud Mike asked. “A dance club?”

“Oh my god,” Mike said. “No, jesus.”

“Can we at least ride in the car when you drop Jay off and pick up dinner?” nerd Mike asked, springing up off the couch. “It’s inhumane to make us stay in the apartment all day.”

Mike groaned but granted this request, and soon they were all bundled up in winter wear in the car, headed toward Jay’s place. Jay was content in the front passenger seat, watching the bleak winter landscape pass by from the comfort of Mike’s heated car. He used to take the bus home from work, sometimes waiting half an hour in the frigid weather for it to pull up. Now he had a personal chauffer every day after their shift ended, and the promise of a good fuck when they got where they were going. He found himself feeling a kind of tender guilt as they pulled up to his place, thinking of his clones inside. Mike was still a lunatic for cloning himself without really thinking about the repercussions, but he wasn’t wrong that Jay’s clones needed this happy, settled, well-fucked feeling, too. Jay already couldn’t imagine going back to living without it.

“Tell them we said hello,” Mike said after Jay had leaned over to give him a chaste kiss goodnight, both of Mike’s clones watching from the backseat.

“Can I kiss you goodnight, too?” nerd Mike asked, fidgeting in place with a level of anxious agitation that was shaking the car. 

“No!” Mike said. 

“I wasn’t asking you,” nerd Mike said snottily, before flicking his eyes to Jay’s. “I was asking Jay.” 

“Well, he’s--”

“Here,” Jay said, leaning over so he was in kissing range. “You may kiss my cheek.”

Nerd Mike snickered and did so, three times, each one wetter than the last, the third one more like a lick. 

“My turn,” stud Mike said, shoving nerd Mike away so hard that he crashed against the car door with an _oof_.

“Hey!” Mike said, but Jay just laughed and let stud Mike grab his shoulders and yank him between the seats so he could kiss what was technically Jay’s cheek, coming very close to Jay’s mouth as he licked and sucked at Jay’s flushed skin like he wanted to take a bite out of him. “Knock it off-- Jay!”

“Jesus you taste really good,” stud Mike said, and his pupils were huge when he pulled back to stare into Jay’s eyes. “I’d fuck you right here in front of them if you’d let me.” 

“Well, that’s not happening,” Jay said, shimmying away from him and toward the door. He gave Mike an apologetic glance and reached over to pat his thigh when he sat there looking dejected. “Remember when I got to watch you enjoying this?” he said, squeezing.

“I know,” Mike said, mumbling and ducking his gaze. “And, uh. Okay, it’s kinda hot.”

“Yes!” nerd Mike said, bouncing in place in the backseat. “That means--”

“I haven’t decided what it means yet,” Jay said. “And I’ve gotta go, but. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

He leaned over to give Mike a deeper kiss on the lips, batted his eyelashes at him, and got out of the car, leaving Mike looking stunned and a little lost. 

Jay felt incredible as he walked toward his building, light on his feet and a little hard in his pants. Being wanted had always been a big deal for him, and being wanted by Mike put all other experiences of it to shame. To have three Mikes fighting over him-- Jesus. He was going to have to beat off before dinner. 

Inside the apartment, he found chubby and skinny Jay in their usual spots on the couch, skinny Jay dwarfed by one of Jay’s old sweatshirts and swaddled in blankets, chubby Jay with his head tipped back onto the couch and dressed in a t-shirt and pajama pants, slippers. They both shifted their gaze to Jay’s with angry envy, looking like a perfect portrait of depression. 

“How was work,” chubby Jay asked, deadpan. He knew Jay had been with Mike for his pleasure hour afterward. 

“Fine,” Jay said, unwinding his scarf. He hung it up along with his coat and toed off his shoes. “How’s everything here? Is everybody home?”

“Mean Jay is in his room,” skinny Jay said. “He just got back from his date. He has another one later, I think.”

“He offered to make Grindr profiles for us,” chubby Jay said. “I told him to fuck off.”

“I told him yes!” skinny Jay said. He pulled his phone out from inside his blanket cocoon and consulted it. “Hmm,” he said, shoulders dropping. “More people who want me to call them daddy.”

“You are way too young looking to be on that thing,” Jay said, alarmed. “You’re only going to attract perverts.” 

“Mike’s not a pervert,” skinny Jay said, snarling at Jay with those teeth that still felt like a personal attack and made Jay lick over his own to make sure they were still fixed. “And he found me attractive.” 

“Well you don’t have the same affect in person,” Jay said, apparently also still defensive about how he’d tried to project a sense of adulthood in his twenties, even while looking like a high schooler. “And you’re like a memory for him, of our youth-- Why am I standing here explaining this? Delete that Grindr profile, I have some good news.”

“Yeah?” skinny Jay lit up and tossed the phone away. “Is Mike here? Is he out in the hall?”

“So you’ve forgiven him,” Jay said, not surprised. 

“I guess, I’m just so fucking horny! I can be mad at him and still get off with him.” 

“I can’t,” chubby Jay said, sitting up with a frown. “Is he really out there?”

“No, but we were talking about him maybe coming over tomorrow, and, uh. Bringing his clones, too.”

“I hate those clones,” chubby Jay said.

“You don’t even know them. They’re way nicer than they seemed that first day.”

“Oh god!” skinny Jay said, leaping up onto his feet, the blankets coming with him. “You’ve fucked all of them, haven’t you? God, it’s not fair! You get everything!” 

“I have not, calm down! I’ve barely even kissed them, but--”

“You kissed them?” chubby Jay said, looking stricken.

“The hell do you care, you just said you hate them!” 

“What is this racket!” hot Jay said, throwing the office door open to glare at them. “I’m on a video call in here!”

“With whom?” Jay asked, afraid to know.

“Steve!” hot Jay said, as if they should know who that was. He huffed once more before darting back inside and slamming the door again. 

“I refuse to believe anyone with my DNA needs that much attention from men,” Jay said, hearing how untrue this was as he said it. 

“He’s having new experiences,” chubby Jay said, in a rare defense of hot Jay. “Unlike us. We just sit here watching movies all day.”

“And thinking about sex,” skinny Jay said bitterly.

“Well those are the formative experiences I had while I looked like you guys, so you’re just learning how to be a Jay, enjoy!” 

Jay knew this wasn’t fair or nice, but he felt flustered and like he had to get away from their angry stares and accusations that he was hogging all the Mikes. He headed for the office to interrupt hot Jay’s video call, hoping he wasn’t jacking his dick for whomever Steve was. They still resembled each other too much for that kind of shit to fly.

“Yeah, I think I’ve heard of that one,” hot Jay was saying to Steve when Jay burst in, glad to see his clone was fully dressed. Hot Jay turned from the computer to glare at him, and the blandly handsome dark-haired guy onscreen saw him, too, his eyebrows going up when he did. 

“Whoa,” Steve said. “You have a twin?”

“We are not twins!” hot Jay said. “Ugh, just-- I gotta go, talk to you later.” 

He ended the call and spun around in Jay’s desk chair, arms crossed over his chest. 

“What’s the occasion for your cockblocking this time?” hot Jay asked. “You look distraught.”

“I’m not,” Jay said. He sighed and shut the door behind him before walking over to sit on the couch. “But they are. I feel bad for them, but-- Jesus, you put shrimp Jay on Grindr? What the hell were you thinking?”

“That he needs some dick just like the rest of us? He’s the horniest one of all. You should at least bring Mike back over here if you’re not going to let him troll for cock online.”

Jay winced at that phrasing and at the thought of skinny Jay going out to meet random men. 

“I have a better idea,” he said, muttering. “But I don’t know if those two will go for it.”

“What?” Hot Jay smirked. “The Mike clones?”

“Yes, the Mike clones. What? You don’t think it’ll work.”

“Not if I’m here,” hot Jay said, folding his hands behind his head so he could put his perfect chest on display, gloating. 

“C’mon, man,” Jay said, lowering his voice. “We both know you’re the best looking one, blah blah, well done being born into that body that I worked my ass off to get and keep for a while. Just help me out here, please? You could be out on a date so the Mikes would give the other two a chance. They’re lonely, and I know you care about them.”

Hot Jay said nothing, just rocked in the office chair a bit with his hands still folded behind his head, considering this appeal to his less-evil side.

“You fuck them yet?” he asked. 

“What, the Mike clones? No! I’m-- Mike’s plenty for me. The original.”

Hot Jay’s wicked smile came slowly.

“Bulllshiiiit,” he said, also slowly. “You want in on that action first, I can smell it. All three at once. Fuck, even I’d be into that, actually.”

“Well-- You can’t have it! If anyone gets that, it’s me.”

Jay went red in the face after saying so, suddenly in need of a beer. Hot Jay was snickering with delight, bringing his hands down to his rock hard abs while they twitched with laughter. 

“Man, you said it,” hot Jay said, pointing a finger at him. “And you should say it, ‘cause you’re right! You’ve been busting ass working while the rest of us just mooch off your kindness. You deserve a reward.”

“Don’t encourage me,” Jay muttered, though he appreciated this. “Mike is being weird about it. Which is not fair.”

“Totally not fair, fuck that! He had his turn-- Multiple turns, with the other two. Now you get yours. An eye for an eye.”

“You’re misusing that phrase.”

“Am I, though?”

“Yes! It’s not about revenge. I’m not mad at Mike for being with you guys-- Fuck, I’ve beat off watching it, it’s part of what I actually like about this whole thing. I just want him to get over it and realize like I did that his clones are just like parts of him that I love, too.”

“So tell him to get over it,” hot Jay said, shrugging. “Pretty sure he’ll do whatever you want. He’s whipped.” 

“Don’t say whipped. He’s-- Fine, you’re probably right that he’d let me if I asked him to, but I don’t want him to get all hurt and sad about it.”

“Just give him a taste of sitting back and watching two people who are basically him fucking your brains out, then see how sad he is. Ten bucks, which is all I have left of your cash, by the way, says he’ll just whip his dick out and join in.”

“We’ll see,” Jay said, mumbling. “I’m gonna try bringing them all over here tomorrow after work. Please tell me you’ll be out.”

“Yep. Got a movie date, so I’ll be gone for a while. So the other Jays are safe from losing their Mikes to my charms.”

“Charms?” Jay said, scoffing. “I don’t know if that’s the word I’d use. Come help me cook dinner.”

Though he would never admit it, Jay could tell that his appeal to hot Jay’s more rational, less dickish side had an impact. He was actually helpful in the kitchen, didn’t make any rude remarks about the other two clones during dinner, and joined them for horror movie time afterward.

“We should really do this in the office,” Jay said as they all settled into his bed to watch _In the Mouth of Madness_ together. It was the least horny of Jay’s favorite classics, and therefore appropriate for this evening, he thought. “Your room has the better setup.”

“My room, huh?” hot Jay said. He was reclining on his usual side of the bed, letting skinny Jay cuddle up against his arm. 

“I’m not saying I’m designating that room as yours,” Jay said. “Just that you took it.”

“That’s right I did. How about putting a bed in there, by the way? I may have company, eventually, and there’s only so many times I can be fucked on that couch.” 

“Just once, right?” skinny Jay said, squeezing hot Jay’s bicep like its firmness fascinated him, or maybe just comforted him. “By Mike.”

“Yes,” hot Jay said, and they all waited for him to brag about it. He looked down at skinny Jay and shrugged. “What?”

“Nothing, just. I wonder what it feels like? I’ve never got that far-- With him.” 

“Guys,” Jay said, not wanting to go down this path. Chubby Jay was lying next to him, and Jay could feel him stiffen up unhappily at this turn in the conversation. “Let’s not, okay? Let’s just watch the movie. And actually, putting a second bed in there isn’t a bad idea.”

“But then--” skinny Jay said, “What would that mean, like. Two of us sleep in there, and two in here?”

“No, no,” hot Jay said, and he reached over to give skinny Jay’s bicep a squeeze. “The bed in the office would be the sex bed, for me to have sex in. And possibly you guys, if it comes to that. And this would be the exclusively sleeping bed.” 

“Oh.” Skinny Jay smiled and turned toward the screen. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

Jay sighed but had to admit that it made sense, and also gave him an idea about how tomorrow should go. He glanced over at chubby Jay and put an arm around him, because he looked especially glum. Chubby Jay grunted like he was annoyed by this but also curled in against Jay’s side once the movie had started, resting his fuzzy cheek on Jay’s chest. 

In the morning, Jay got ready for work as usual while hot Jay slept in, skinny Jay played around on the laptop in the living room and chubby Jay lingered in the shower for a ridiculous amount of time. 

“I have a surprise for you for when I get home,” Jay said when he was on his way out the door, putting on his coat.

“Is it Mike?” skinny Jay asked, stretched out on the couch with the laptop and looking like he had mixed feelings about this. 

“The surprise has multiple parts,” Jay said. 

“So his clones, too?”

“Don’t you want to really get to know them?”

“I guess,” skinny Jay said. “But that one with glasses is mean about Star Trek.” 

“His opinions aren’t very nuanced. Mike just dumped the Trek wiki into his mind when he made him. He hasn’t actually watched all the episodes, he just thinks he has.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah, I agree. These guys need friends, is all I’m saying. And there’s a third part to this surprise, too. See ya later.”

“Byyyyye.”

Mike was waiting in the parking lot, and Jay was so glad to be alone with him that he practically crawled into Mike’s lap once he was in the car. He gave Mike a long, minty good morning kiss before telling him his plan for the day. 

“I guess that could work,” Mike said. 

“If it doesn’t, no big deal,” Jay said, shrugging as he moved over into the passenger seat and bucked his seatbelt. “But it’s worth a try.” 

Kinda like when you cloned yourself without consulting me, he wanted to say. Worth a try-- And Mike definitely owed him one. 

They closed up the shop early that afternoon and went shopping for a bed. Mike was as into this part as Jay had expected him to be-- He loved domestic things, making decisions together, and any excuse to make corny jokes about sex. Bed shopping provided plenty of those, and after an hour they’d picked something out. They tied the mattress to the top of Mike’s car, put the components for constructing the modest wooden bed frame into the trunk, and headed over to Mike’s place to pick up the clones. 

“Wow, that’s not subtle,” stud Mike said when he saw the mattress tied to the top of the car. “You’re delivering our dicks to the Jays with accessories included?”

“You’re complaining now?” Mike barked.

“No, just amused by your lack of tact.” 

“Seriously, what’s with the bed?” nerd Mike said, looking wary in a way that made Jay feel bad, because he really hadn’t considered how this would look to them. 

“We just needed another one for my clones,” Jay said. “And we’ll need help carrying the mattress and the bed frame up to my apartment, so we figured it would be a good excuse to have you guys come over. You can help us set up the bed, and maybe then we’ll all watch a movie and have dinner together. That’s it, uh. You’re not obligated to do anything.” 

“Is the hot Jay--”

“No!” Jay snapped, annoyed at stud Mike in the precise way that he used to get fed up with his Mike when he looked like this, back when Jay had been chubby and awkward and mad about it. “The hot Jay is out on a date. He’ll be back later if you want to say hello to him, but he’s got his own thing going on, so don’t pester him.” 

Jay texted chubby Jay when they were all in the car on the way to his place, to make sure this last part of the plan was still in effect.

 _yeah he just went out_ , chubby Jay responded. _why?_

_We’re bringing over a surprise to set up in his room_

_It’s not really his room_

_You’ve taken over my own damn bedroom so don’t complain. We’ll be there in five minutes_

_Great._

Jay could hear this in chubby Jay’s usual defeated, sarcastic tone. He sighed and lifted his gaze to the rear view mirror to check on the Mikes in the backseat, suddenly feeling sure this would go even worse than Mike’s clumsy introduction of them had. Nerd Mike caught his gaze and gave him a little smile that made his heart stutter with ancient hope, like a ghost of skinny Jay still lived within him and wanted that Mike to smile at him more than anything. 

The drive to Jay’s place seemed to pass in a blink, and Jay didn’t feel ready to face however this was going to go as he helped Mike and the clones unload the car and take down the mattress. Mike and stud Mike took the mattress up while Jay and nerd Mike followed with the lighter box of bed frame parts. 

“They think they’re so tough,” nerd Mike said, muttering this to Jay from over the length of the box. “They act like I’m some fragile twig. Gimme a break. They’re both fat, even the stud one. He just carries it better. I could kick both their asses if it came to it.”

“Hey now,” Jay said, trying not to find this so terribly endearing. “Today is about harmony.” 

“Today is about breeding us with your counterparts,” nerd Mike said, and he tried to grin after saying so, but looked a little queasy, too.

“It is not!” Jay said. “I promise. And don’t be mean to them about TNG. They’re not even finished with season one.”

“Well, that explains some things. Sorta.”

Both of Jay’s clones were seated on the sofa when the whole caravan came in with the bed, the two Mikes entering first with the mattress, followed by Jay and nerd Mike with the rest. Jay was glad to see his clones were dressed in jeans and t-shirts instead of pajamas. Over the weekend, Jay had bought some clothes for both of them that actually fit. 

“Wow, you really hop to it when his highness has a request,” chubby Jay said, not moving from the couch to help. Skinny Jay stayed planted beside him, looking much less annoyed to see all these Mikes entering his domain, but staying in place rather than jumping up to greet any of them, perhaps in solidarity. 

“Don’t be a dick,” Jay said, and he regretted it when chubby Jay wilted and picked at the arm of the couch, probably already feeling shitty and vulnerable. “I just-- He had a good idea. We should have two beds, it makes sense. You two can come help us move the couch out if you-- Oh.”

Jay stopped when he saw Mike and stud Mike already carrying the couch out of the office, snapping at each other while they maneuvered it awkwardly through the narrow hallway. 

“Now we can all watch stuff together out here!” Mike said, too cheerfully, as Jay pulled the armchair aside to make room for the second couch in the TV viewing area. 

“Awesome!” skinny Jay said, hopping up and abandoning chubby Jay on the couch. He jogged over to Mike and stopped just short of throwing his arms around him when the couch was in place, grinning up at him and blushing so deeply that Jay got secondhand embarrassment just from observing.

“I missed you,” Mike said, reaching over to ruffle skinny Jay’s hair. 

“Oh?” skinny Jay said, his eyes shifting to stud Mike, who was mildly out of breath after carrying the mattress and the couch.

“Hello,” stud Mike said, giving skinny Jay a once-over. “Is that bed for you?”

“No, it’s for the hot Jay, well, really for all of us, uh--” Skinny Jay glanced at Jay uncertainly, then at nerd Mike, his nose twitching when their eyes met. “And hi to you, too,” he said.

“Hi,” nerd Mike said, seeming disinterested. He was standing very close to Jay, who couldn’t deny that he liked having the most nervous of the three Mikes sticking by his side like he wanted Jay’s protection from everyone else. 

“So,” Jay said. “I say we all work on putting the bed frame together, then we can have some beers and, uh, maybe watch some Star Trek?”

“Sounds perfect,” nerd Mike said, shifting over so that his shoulder touched Jay’s.

Jay glanced at Mike and saw him noticing this, too. He didn’t look upset, but also didn’t look like he loved this development.

“Good plan, Jay,” Mike said, and he grabbed his stud clone’s shoulders to steer him back toward the office. 

Everyone followed them except chubby Jay, who just stayed slumped on the couch, pretending to read something on his phone. Jay’s heart hurt when he saw that he’d put extra care into spiking his hair up into tufts with gel and had trimmed his short beard so that it was neater than it had been that morning. He was attempting to grow in a mustache, too, so far just looking awkward for the effort.

“You don’t have to help if you don’t want to,” Jay said, walking over to stand beside him.

“Five people is more than enough to put a bed frame together,” chubby Jay mumbled, eyes still on his phone. “Five people can barely fit in that room. But you guys-- Whatever. I don’t care. I’m not mad. Shrimpy’s been driving me crazy all day, talking about Mike, pretending he’s not excited to see Mike. He’ll be on his dick as soon as you guys have your backs turned.”

“That’s fine,” Jay said. “Just-- Don’t go hide in the bedroom all night, okay? Give them a chance.”

“That one in glasses is ready to jump your bones, seems like.” 

“He’s-- I dunno--”

“I’m not mad!” chubby Jay said again, eyes flashing when he looked up to meet Jay’s gaze. “Just go do your thing, I hate it when you worry about me. Please, I’m in the middle of something here.” 

“What?” Jay asked, eying the phone. “Grindr?”

“No! It’s--” He glared at Jay. “It’s a Sam Neill fan page, okay? Jesus.”

“Awww. I always liked him, too--”

“I don’t want to discuss it! Go hang out with your boyfriends, I’m fine.”

Jay resisted the urge to ruffle his hair before going, knowing he would hate that. He went to the office and leaned in the doorway, enjoying the sight of skinny Jay back in hyper-attentive mode at Mike’s side as they unpacked the bed frame parts together, his eyes bright and free from angst. Jay had never really been like this, certainly not in the presence of a guy he had feelings for, and it was weirdly nice to witness someone who looked like he had back then acting like there was nothing to fear, because of course Mike adored him, too.

“This is a really nice setup,” nerd Mike said, examining at the speakers around Jay’s big TV. “I mean, not that I’d know, but--”

“Thanks,” Jay said, walking over to him. “I used to watch movies in here, until my clone claimed it as his preening space.”

“I bet the hot one’s kind of a jerk,” nerd Mike said, giving stud Mike a glance. He was seated on the floor, frowning at the instructions for putting the bed frame together. “People who think they’re hot shit usually are.” 

“I can hear you,” stud Mike said, not looking up. “And I’m glad to have confirmation that you think I’m hot shit.”

“I said you think so, not me!”

“Stop fighting,” Mike said, not looking all that bothered as skinny Jay hung on his shoulders and nosed at his neck, sniffing him unsubtly. 

The bed frame construction was actually kind of fun. Jay had always loved doing little projects with Mike, and it was even better with three of him, particularly as nerd Mike stuck close to Jay’s side as if just being near to him was a thrill and stud Mike kept sneaking Jay looks that reminded Jay of what he’d said in the car last night about being willing and ready to fuck Jay in front of the others. Mike seemed not to have noticed either thing and therefore had no protest, fully occupied by skinny Jay flitting around him like a horny mosquito and lavishing him with the kind of attention that even Jay wasn’t capable of, shamelessly worshipful. Jay could only manage that when Mike’s cock was in him. Outside of that arrangement, he still had his pride. 

Nerd Mike helped Jay outfit the mattress with fresh sheets and some spare pillows when they were done, and the five of them stood around the finished product admiring their work for approximately five seconds before it started to feel awkward, because here they all were staring at a bed while sex pheromones flowed freely in the enclosed space, seeming to swirl and fill the air in every direction, especially since they were all a little sweaty after moving furniture and drilling wooden bed frame parts together. It was a lot, Jay realized, meeting Mike’s gaze with new nervousness, and a lot like the beginning of a porno that he wasn’t sure he wanted to star in, at least not yet.

“Time for beer!” Mike bellowed, loud and anxious enough to make both Jays laugh. 

Chubby Jay was still on the sofa, and this tugged at Jay’s heart the same way his carefully styled hair had, because as much as he would deny it, he really did want someone to think he was interesting and worth getting to know. Jay doled out beers and was relieved to see that Mike had noticed this, too, though not sure how chubby Jay would react to Mike’s approach as he headed over to the couch to try and talk to him. 

“Your apartment is so neat and clean,” nerd Mike said, walking around Jay’s kitchen and admiring everything. “Way nicer than Mike’s.” 

“Thanks,” Jay said, trying to watch the scene that was playing out in the living room from the corner of his eye without being too obvious. 

“Mike doesn’t even have a spare bedroom,” stud Mike said. “I have to share his bed with this one while Mike sleeps on the couch.” 

“And he doesn’t wash his sheets after he fucks you there,” nerd Mike blurted. He looked alarmed after saying so, and his face went red. “I mean. Sorry, but. He doesn’t.”

“It’s a possible explanation for why we feel the way we do about you,” stud Mike said, his eyes boring into Jay’s when their gaze met. “Because we go to sleep with this Mike-fucking-Jay smell all around us.”

Nerd Mike moaned softly under his breath and quickly drank more beer when Jay looked at him, his gaze darting away from Jay’s.

“It’s--” Jay said, not able to deal with this while he was fretting about what was going on in the living room. Chubby Jay seemed amenable to Mike’s attention, but skinny Jay was looming closer and closer to them on the couch, probably about to spoil whatever moment they where having.

Jay told himself he couldn’t worry about the dynamic between those three: it would play out however, outside of his control. He gulped more beer and decided to get a little drunk and not waste this opportunity to enjoy the attention of the Mike clones while Mike did whatever with the Jay clones in the other room. 

“So what does post-fuck me smell like on Mike’s bedsheets, exactly?” he asked, genuinely curious. 

“Like sex,” nerd Mike said, and he grinned when this made Jay snicker. “I don’t know how to else to describe it.”

“It smells like a satisfied little cockslut,” stud Mike said, stepping closer and looking down at Jay like he was his next meal.

“Jesus!” nerd Mike said, grabbing for Jay’s arm. “Don’t call him that.”

“It’s okay,” Jay said, holding stud Mike’s predatory stare as his cock started to fatten in his pants. In the living room, both Jays were on the couch with Mike and laughing at something he’d said, so that situation was fine. So was Jay’s, thus far. “Where’d you learn to talk like that?” he asked, staring up into stud Mike’s face as he moved even closer. 

“Porn,” stud Mike said, without apology. “We watch a lot of it. Not much else to do.”

“Sometimes we watch normal stuff, too,” nerd Mike muttered, both of his hands squeezed around Jay’s bicep now. 

“Apparently he thinks I’m a cockslut,” Jay said, tipping his head toward stud Mike and leaning almost against nerd Mike’s side as he swooned toward him, getting too curious about being double teamed by two Mikes to let the conversation steer away from sex. Nerd Mike gaped down into Jay’s face, bright red across his cheeks. “Do you share that opinion?”

“Wah-- No, just--! Unless, uh. You want me to?”

“He wants to do whatever you want,” stud Mike said, moving closer and essentially boxing Jay in between them, with his back to the kitchen counter behind him. “He’d even let you fuck him, he said,” stud Mike said, leaning down to murmur this against Jay’s ear.

Jay shivered at the contact and exhaled, letting his eyes sink shut as the heat of their bodies closed around his. He felt someone’s hand on his belly and assumed it was stud Mike’s, opened his eyes and laughed under his breath when he saw it was nerd Mike who was clutching at him cluelessly, his glasses fogging a little as the heat between the three of them increased.

“Hey!”

Mike was standing between the kitchen and living room, both Jay clones at his sides. They looked amused. Mike just looked annoyed, then hurt, his shoulders dropping.

“I thought we were watching a movie,” he said, mumbling like he already knew he’d lost the argument he wanted to make and couldn’t, without being a big hypocrite. 

“Wha--” Jay said, trying to yank himself out of the haze he’d let himself slip into. Neither Mike moved away from him, but nerd Mike did take his hand off of Jay’s stomach. “Movie, oh-- Sure, if, if you guys want--”

“Fine,” stud Mike said, to Jay’s surprise, and he gave nerd Mike a look that seemed significant, as if some sort of signal was passing between them. “Movie sounds good. But we get to have this Jay on our couch.” 

“Fine by us!” skinny Jay said, still hanging on Mike’s arm like he wasn’t going to let him go anytime soon. Chubby Jay wasn’t clinging to him, but the way he kept close to Mike’s other side told Jay that he’d mostly forgiven him already and was just glad to have him back. 

“Let’s see,” Jay said, stepping away from the Mike clones so he could think straight. “Mike, uh-- What do you think they’d all like?”

They settled on _Terminator_. Jay sat on the couch that had previously been in the office, flanked by the Mike clones, and Mike sat between the Jay clones on the other one. Jay felt a little stupid and way too turned on, unable to pay attention to the movie and aware that Mike was cutting him looks of longing that he didn’t want to think too much about right now. When his phone buzzed he jumped.

“Wow,” stud Mike said, helping himself to an eyeful of Jay’s phone screen. “You actually call him Hot Jay.” 

“That’s-- What else are we supposed to call him?” 

“Is he okay?” chubby Jay asked. 

“Yes. He’s just texting me to say the movie was stupid and now they’re going to a bar.”

“Who’s he out with?” Mike asked. 

“Hell if I know. Did he tell you guys?”

“No,” skinny Jay said. He had his head on Mike’s shoulder and looked blissed out, as if just this much contact with Mike was getting him off. “Shh, I’m trying to watch. This is actually good.”

Jay didn’t appreciate the ‘actually,’ as if he was suggesting that what Jay normally showed them wasn’t as good as this, but he let it go and put his phone away after sending hot Jay a text telling him to stay safe and getting an ‘lol’ in return, for some reason. He slumped back onto the couch and began to relax a little, letting himself enjoy how nerd Mike was sneaking his hand over closer on the couch cushion, almost touching Jay’s leg, while stud Mike had rested his shoulder against Jay’s and spread his legs ridiculously wide, probably hoping Jay would glance down at his crotch. Jay was doing his best not to. His dick was twitching in soft but dangerous little pulses in his jeans, and though he wasn’t hard enough to need to pull a pillow over his lap, his stiff nipples were visible through his t-shirt. 

He glanced over at the situation on the other couch as casually as he could. Both of his clones were tucked under Mike’s arms, skinny Jay practically humping his side already and chubby Jay resting his cheek on Mike’s shoulder, looking content but still a little tense. He met Jay’s gaze and then quickly looked back at the TV, fidgeting in Mike’s grip. 

Jay had forgotten about the sex scene in the movie, somehow. It wasn’t super graphic, but in the state everybody was currently in it felt like explicit porn, and within a few seconds of it nerd Mike’s hand was finally pressed up against the side of Jay’s leg, his fingers twitching like he wanted to grab a handful of any part of Jay he was allowed to touch. 

“Lost interest in the movie?” Jay said when he glanced over at the other couch again and saw skinny Jay licking and sucking at the side of Mike’s neck as quietly as he could.

“Mmph,” skinny Jay said, turning to peek at Jay. “It’s good, but. I feel-- Like I did before, almost. When we first got here.” 

“You do not,” chubby Jay said, sitting up a little and rubbing his hand over his face. “Or anyway, I don’t.”

“How-- What are you guys talking about?” nerd Mike asked, shifting a little closer to Jay. 

“When they first arrived they’d been dosed with aphrodisiacs,” Jay said, watching skinny Jay not very sneakily return his mouth to Mike’s neck, licking softly at the skin there while keeping his eyes on Jay.

“Oh shit,” stud Mike said, his knees shifting together, then apart again. Jay glanced down and smirked when he saw his half-chub tenting his jeans. “That must have been, uh. A sight.”

“It was enjoyable,” Mike said, glancing at Jay like he wanted direction from him. “But I’m glad you guys are, uh. Not suffering from that anymore. Hopefully it just feels that way, a little?” he said, turning his face toward skinny Jay’s.

“I don’t know,” skinny Jay said, whining. “I just, I want--”

“You can,” Jay said, drawing all their eyes to his. “If Mike wants to.”

“I do,” Mike said, rubbing at skinny Jay’s back when he writhed in victory. “And, Jay, you, you can--”

“Okay,” Jay said, understanding, and too hard now to wait. He took nerd Mike’s hand and pulled him up off the couch, beaming at his wild-eyed look of disbelief. “If you want,” Jay said, squeezing his hand. “We can go in the other room. If it’s your first time-- You probably don’t want an audience?” 

“I just want you,” nerd Mike said, nodding, and Jay’s heart cracked open again, because if he’d heard that way back in the day, rather than Mike claiming they should practice kissing because Jay ‘obviously’ hadn’t done anything before and might embarrass himself during the kissing scene in the dumb movie they made together during that boot camp-- Well. Jay probably still would have laughed nervously and fled in terror, but maybe not. 

“You coming?” Jay asked stud Mike. 

“Didn’t realize I was invited,” stud Mike said, moving his hand to the inside of his thigh, where his cock had already filled out more, pressing insistently into the leg of his jeans.

“Well, you are,” Jay said. “If it’s okay with you?” he said, turning to nerd Mike, who shrugged.

“Whatever you want,” he said, almost shy, his grip on Jay’s hand tightening. “I’ve never really been away from him, uh, so. He’s like the other half of me anyway.”

“Aw, I’m touched,” stud Mike said, shifting his palm over to rub against the hard outline of his dick. He moaned under his breath and nodded toward the other couch. “I’ll be there eventually. Want to watch this for a minute.”

Jay turned his gaze and stifled a laugh when he saw skinny Jay had launched himself fully into Mike’s lap and was humping his dick against Mike’s through their pants. Chubby Jay was kissing Mike’s jaw, getting closer and closer to his lips while Mike kept his eyes on Jay’s, seeming to need to check again and see if this was okay with him. 

“Have fun,” Jay said, winking at him. “We’ll be in the office if you need us.” 

“On the sex bed,” skinny Jay said, giggling and pressing his lips to Mike’s before chubby Jay could work up the nerve. 

“The sex bed?” nerd Mike said as Jay followed him there, still holding his hand. “I knew it.”

“Well, nothing’s inevitable,” Jay said, mumbling this and a little ashamed of himself as he shut the office door behind them. “But I did think-- Maybe, if you guys wanted--”

“I do want,” nerd Mike said, his voice pitching as deep as the other two before he grabbed Jay’s face in both hands and gave him a wet, clumsy kiss. 

“Okay,” Jay said softly, putting his hands on Mike’s waist and pushing him back a bit after he’d had a first try. “Just-- Lie on the bed, I’ll show you how to do that properly.”

“Yeah,” nerd Mike said, grinning and dropping down onto the mattress, onto his back. He was so gangly, so cute. “Teach me, you wise old man.” 

“Eh fuck you,” Jay said, but he was smiling, enjoying this already. He pulled his t-shirt off and actually felt himself flush a little as nerd Mike’s hungry eyes traveled over his bared skin. “Take yours off, too,” Jay said, preparing to be extra insecure about his soft chest when he saw Mike’s trim, youthful one. 

Mike kicked his shoes off before scooting fully onto the bed, knelt in the middle and pulled his t-shirt off. Jay made a sound under his breath at the sight of all his pale skin. He had plenty of dark chest hair from his throat to his belly, but also looked so vulnerable like this, more so than Jay had expected. 

Jay toed his shoes off and climbed onto the bed, stretching out on his side. Nerd Mike was red-faced but eager, aligning his body with Jay’s and moving his face close, already breathing a little hard. He made a soft noise at the back of his throat when Jay touched his lips with the pads of his fingers, gentle. 

“What do you know about sex?” Jay asked. 

“Porn,” nerd Mike said. “And that I want to have it with you, bad.”

“The other clone said you told him you’d let me, uh. Top you.”

Jay hadn’t tried it with his Mike yet. He normally thought topping was boring and too much work, but the way this Mike’s eyes lit up at the suggestion got his mouth watering for it.

“I did say that,” nerd Mike confessed, inching closer. “And you can, yeah. I want you to.”

“Mhm, we’ll see. First, kissing. Just part your lips a little-- Good, here, close your eyes--”

Nerd Mike obeyed, and Jay wondered if he should take those glasses off. They were a little crooked over Mike’s closed eyes with his cheek resting on the bed, his long eyelashes fluttering while he waited for Jay to kiss him. Jay decided to leave the glasses in place and smirked when Mike peeked at him with one eye before quickly shutting both again. 

“I don’t normally like kissing that much,” Jay said, letting his lips brush against Mike’s. “But with Mike it always feels good, so-- Let’s see if that’s, uh, true with you, too.”

Mike sighed against Jay’s lips when they touched his, and Jay’s heart started to pound as he let himself imagine that he’d gone back in time and was doing this in that motel room in South Dakota, late at night after they’d given up on working on their boot camp film for the day and were just talking, muttering and lying close to each other in the dark. In reality, they’d done that from separate beds, each of them claiming one of the doubles. But Jay had still felt so close to Mike already, when they talked like that in the dark and in the light of day, too. When Mike ended up moving from Chicago to Milwaukee ‘just for the hell of it’ after a year of keeping in touch and meeting up whenever they could, Jay had told himself not to make too much of it, even as he felt like it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

“Good,” Jay said, muttering this against nerd Mike’s soft mouth and trying to imagine what that kissing lesson Mike had offered him back then would have felt like, how he would have wanted Mike to handle him while he reeled from how good it felt. “How’s that for you?”

“My dick is so hard,” nerd Mike said, his pupils fattening even further with this confession. “Jesus, can we--” He surged forward again and captured Jay’s mouth with his, aggressive and trying to take control at first, then backing off a little and whimpering for the press of Jay’s tongue between his lips, letting him in. 

“Do you want me to touch your cock?” Jay asked, murmuring this question directly into Mike’s mouth as his hand traveled down over his trembling chest and stomach. 

“Please, yes, _please_ , god, yes--”

“Okay, shh. Take it out for me.”

“Oh god,” Mike said, whispering it under his breath in a way that made Jay kiss his nose as they both looked down and watched him unbutton and then unzip his jeans. Mike made a soft noise that was somewhere between agony and relief as he took himself out, and Jay caught himself moaning for the sight of that cock he loved and for how hard this Mike was for him. 

“You’re so big,” Jay said, because he figured all Mikes would like hearing this. 

“Am I?” Mike said, his fingers twitching like he wanted to touch himself but wouldn’t, without Jay’s permission. “I, uh. Look pretty average, as far as porn goes.” 

“Mhm, that’s not true. Unless you’re watching strictly big dick porn.”

“I-- I dunno--”

“You might be disappointed, if you’re a size queen,” Jay said, unzipping his own pants. “This is what average actually looks like. About half the size of yours.”

Jay was even a little on the small side, but he didn’t feel like characterizing himself that way at the moment, and nerd Mike exhaled as if he could barely handle how impressed he was with the sight of Jay’s sticky cock anyway. 

“Jesus, that’s--” Mike moaned and licked his lips, his gaze glued to Jay’s cock. Jay stroked himself a few times, shimmying out of his pants until they were down around his thighs. Mike gripped Jay’s hip and rubbed his thumb over Jay’s skin, obviously wanting to touch something else.

“I’ll show you first,” Jay said, keeping his voice soft as he started to get insanely turned on, too. He’d never had an experience like this, had skipped over the formative years when it came to sex and had his first time with a guy when he was thirty. Jay’s unwillingness to confess that he’d never been with a man before hadn’t exactly resulted in gentle, patient treatment by that guy, who’d picked him up at the Manhole and fucked him in the backseat of his car, parked behind a closed down movie theater at two in the morning. Jay had told himself he would have hated condescending tenderness, but being on the giving end of it was already amazing. 

Jay’s cock leaked out fat beads of precome as he watched Mike’s face and listened to his astonished little noises when Jay took him in hand and stroked him slowly, letting him get accustomed to the feeling of someone else’s hand on him while his shoulders jerked in uncertain twitches and his hips stuttered forward, trying to find more friction than Jay was currently offering.

“Oh,” Mike said, eyes pinched shut. “Oh, ah--” 

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Jay asked, whispering this against Mike’s cheek before pressing a little kiss there. “Just having someone else-- When it’s not your own hand, finally.” 

“Jesus yes, please don’t stop--” 

“Here-- Take your pants off, I’ll show you something even better.” 

Mike whimpered at the thought of something better than what he was currently getting and hurried to push his pants down, boxers coming off with them. He stripped his socks off as he yanked his pants over his ankles, and was beet red when he turned back to Jay, fully naked. 

“It’s okay,” Jay said, shoving his pants down the rest of the way. “I’ll-- You can see me, too, here.” 

Jay stretched out on his back when he was totally bare, letting nerd Mike’s eyes scan over him. He looked like he was going to have a nosebleed or something, mouth hanging open. Jay touched his cock while Mike watched, dragging his thumb over the sticky slit and sighing a little, arching his back, putting on the kind of show he’d be too embarrassed to give to Mike, despite his willingness to just get on all fours and lift his ass for Mike’s use. This was different, kinda corny and sweet or something, but it was what this Mike deserved, untouched and nervous as he was. 

“Come here,” Jay said, voice soft, patting the spot on the mattress beside him.

Nerd Mike flung himself in that direction so gracelessly that Jay had to bite down on a laugh. He managed to keep it to a beaming grin and guided Mike down onto his back, leaning up over him. Jay gave him a kiss on the lips, grabbing his jaw to coax him into a slower pace when he used too much teeth and tongue. They were still kissing as Jay clambered on top of Mike’s still bigger body, and they both moaned into the kiss when Jay shifted his hips so his cock dragged against Mike’s hot, massive erection. 

“Oh fuck,” Mike said, pinching his eyes shut and sounding almost like he would cry, his voice pinched and reedy. He grabbed Jay’s shoulders and moaned, rutting his hips up with rhythmless need and rubbing his dick against Jay’s. “I’m gonna, fuck, I’ll come--”

“You can come,” Jay said, sweeping Mike’s hair back fondly. “It’s okay. You can-- Ahh, feels so good, yeah? You can come all over me, I don’t mind.” 

“Nnnh, Jay--” 

“Hmm?”

“I, ah, could you--”

“Yeah, shh, I’ll help you.” 

Jay mouthed wetly at Mike’s jaw, licking over the stubble there as he reached down between their bodies and wrapped as much of his hand as he could around their cocks, holding them together and gripping Mike’s with his fingers while he pressed his against it with his thumb. They both groaned, probably loud enough to be heard out in the living room. Jay couldn’t care about that, only this, because Mike was gasping and throwing his head back, exposing his pale throat for Jay’s teeth and tongue as he unloaded, pulsing in Jay’s hand and spraying both of them with so much come that Jay was legitimately impressed. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen his Mike come that hard or that much. 

“Shit,” Mike said when he came down from it a little. He forced a laugh and turned his face against Jay’s, letting Jay kiss his panting mouth and then pull his glasses off. “Nnh, no,” Mike said, reaching for them after he’d recovered. “I want to see you,” he said, batting his lashes. 

“Can’t you? I’m right up in your face.” 

“It’s blurrier, without them.”

“Okay.” Jay kissed his cheek, almost wanted to call him ‘baby’ or something stupid like that. “Here, they’re all foggy.” He cleaned Mike's glasses on the sheets before replacing them on his face. “Better?”

“Yeah, better.” Mike was grinning, looking lovesick. He sighed happily and settled one big hand on Jay’s bare ass cheek, clenching his fingers in just a little. “God, you’re-- I like your face, Jay.”

“Mhm, thanks.” Jay brushed his thumb over the red on Mike’s cheeks, which was fading a little now. “You’re so handsome. You could be a movie star, I’ve always thought.” He’d never confessed this to the real Mike. 

“Want to make you come,” Mike said, squeezing Jay’s ass cheek a little more forcefully. “Want to see your face when you, and-- Feel it, um. Would you come inside me? Please? I want to know what it feels like. Want it to be you.”

Jay kissed Mike, his heart pounding. Could he do that? He didn’t see why not. 

“Let me find where hot Jay has stashed the lube in here,” he said, rubbing at Mike’s parted lips with his thumb. “You’ll have to be patient and let me open you up first. My dick’s not huge but you still need to let me work you open a little, okay?”

“Okay,” Mike said, his voice doing that squeaky, almost-breaking thing again, eyes wide and trusting. 

Jay wondered how things were going out in the living room as he searched for the lube. He wasn’t too surprised that stud Mike was lingering out there with the two Jays, maybe giving Mike a hand with them, and wondered if this meant he wouldn’t get to try out two Mikes at once today after all. He didn’t mind terribly when he found the lube and turned to see nerd Mike already getting hard for him again, touching his cock in timid little brushes of his fingers as it filled out, his long legs spread open so Jay could watch. 

“Here,” Jay said, bringing over a box of tissues along with the lube. “Let me clean you up a little.”

He wiped the drying come from Mike’s jittery chest and belly, then tossed the tissues onto the floor. Hot Jay would find them later and complain, but Jay had cleaned up plenty of his crusty tissues over the past weeks. 

“Thanks,” Mike said, giving Jay a blushy smile when Jay was leaning up over him on all fours again.

“Do you like me taking care of you?” Jay asked, cupping Mike’s cheek, curious. If this one liked it, maybe the original one wanted it?

“Yeah,” Mike said. “I can tell you’re good at it. Seems like you kinda take care of everyone.”

“It’s weird, because this was never the case before I had clones.” 

Jay kissed Mike’s throat and moved lower, taking his time licking over Mike’s collarbones and enjoying the fact that his chest felt both familiar and new at the same time. He had the taste of Mike’s skin, though not exactly the same, and Mike’s broad dimensions but only a hint of his softness, mostly in his pecs, which Jay sucked on until he whined. Jay usually found doing the teasing and foreplay work tiresome, but he was so turned on by slowly taking this Mike apart that he was dripping precome onto Mike’s shaky thighs as he moved down lower, pausing to flick his tongue over the head of Mike’s cock.

“Oh fuck!” Mike said, grabbing Jay’s hair with both hands and curling forward.

“Careful,” Jay said, reaching up to settle his hand over Mike’s and urge him to let go. “Don’t fuck with the hair,” he said, dragging one hand through it to hopefully reorder it.

“Suh, sorry--”

“It’s okay. I’m not gonna suck your cock-- Someone else can be the first to do that for you, and you’re sensitive enough already. Don’t want you coming again yet. Just relax, and pull your legs up for me, against your chest-- Yeah, good.”

Jay normally avoided interacting with other people’s asses, but something about the clones seemed especially clean, sealed off from the world as they had been and brand new as they were. He popped open the lube and felt a pang of sympathy when the sound made Mike’s shoulders jerk and his screwed-shut eyes pop open. Jay kissed the soft insides of his spread apart thighs, then licked him there and dug his teeth in a little, couldn’t resist.

“Oh jesus,” Mike whispered, shutting his eyes again before his head fell back.

“Not everybody likes this,” Jay said, spreading some lube onto his fingers. “So if you don’t, just tell me. I won’t get my feelings hurt.” 

“I’m gonna like it,” Mike said, his voice high and tight in his throat. 

“Yeah? How do you know?”

“Tried it on myself in the shower.”

“Interesting.” Jay wondered how long it had been since his Mike had gotten fucked, if ever. They hadn’t talked about it. So far their sex life had been intuitive, as organic as the beats of their friendship had always been, both of them somehow being completely selfish and yet giving the other exactly what he needed in the process. 

“Fuck,” Mike said, his hands tightening on the backs of his knees when Jay touched him curiously, not pushing in yet, just watching his reactions. Mike spread his legs a little wider and whined like he wanted more, then looked down over his chest, which was starting to get sweaty, his eyes all spinny and unfocused behind his glasses when they tried to lock on Jay’s. 

“You’re tense,” Jay said. “Try to relax. I’d never hurt you.”

Jay’s eyes burned a little when he imagined saying that to his Mike and wondered if he needed to hear it. 

“I know,” Mike said softly, and he exhaled, his head resting on the bed again and his shoulders dropping. “Please, just. Please?”

Jay tried to imagine his Mike begging for him like this, surrendering and waiting, not biting out some smart ass remark about how he should push Jay onto his back and show him how to top properly. He let out his breath and pressed into this Mike with one finger that slipped in easily enough, though Mike was tight and clenching around him inexpertly already, groaning. 

“Don’t clamp down like that,” Jay said. “I mean, unless it feels good-- Does it hurt?”

“Nuh, no, feels good, unh--” 

Jay kissed the inside of Mike’s thigh and took a moment to wonder if he wasn’t jealous of him, because Jay loved being opened like this on Mike’s fat fingers while Mike took forever, teasing until he got Jay begging. He also loved being able to lie back and take whatever Mike gave him, to have nothing to do but beg. 

But this was nice, too. Jay felt something akin to smug satisfaction as he watched Mike fall apart on his fingers. Mike pushed his glasses up and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes while he cursed and writhed, pressing his hips down with rapidly increasing need. Jay heard a little shout from the living room and paused. Warm laughter that sounded like his Mike’s followed, so he figured everything out there was fine. 

“I think you’re ready,” Jay said, because he sure as shit was, and while his cock was currently so full it felt like it weighed a metric ton between his legs, it wasn’t that much thicker than the two fingers he was working in and out while Mike snapped his hips down to meet every inward thrust like he wanted more. “You okay?” Jay asked when he drew them out slowly.

“Fuck yes,” Mike said, his voice gravelly. His dick was leaking precome, so hard. Jay wanted it in his mouth, but he wanted to give Mike what he’d asked for even more. 

Jay also wanted to wash his hand, but he figured that would probably be rude and had gotten complaints about his bedside manner during sex before, so he settled for wiping it clean with a tissue before slicking his cock. 

“How often do you do this?” nerd Mike asked, smirking a little when he saw Jay looking uncertain as he shuffled into place. 

“Often enough to know how to make you enjoy it,” Jay said, though he wasn’t sure this was true. He felt the flush on his face spreading downward, and narrowed his eyes at the look of amusement on Mike’s face that he knew too well: _poor Jay_ , he was thinking. _Thinks he’s such a tough guy but can’t handle me_. 

Jay was looking forward to fucking that smug look off this one’s face. He pushed his hesitation aside and pressed his cock into place, watching Mike’s face as he took the head in with a groan. 

“Okay?” Jay asked as he slid forward, trying not to think too much about the fact that he was fucking a virgin, oh god. 

“Mhm,” Mike said, nodding, his brow knit a little but his cock still so hard it looked like it hurt. “Yuh, yeah. Jay.”

The way he said Jay’s name, soft and amazed like that, wiped away all of Jay’s cynical need to show him up, and the clinging heat of his body as Jay sunk all the way in was making Jay feel extra tender toward him, too. They both groaned as Jay came to a full seat inside him, and Jay settled himself onto Mike’s chest, cupping Mike’s sweet, overwhelmed face in his hands and adjusting his glasses for him before leaning in to kiss him on the lips. 

“Fuck,” Jay said, glad he had his nerves to distract him from how good this felt, because he was nowhere near ready to come. Mike’s chest was heaving and slick under his, and his hands were shaking a little when they came up to rest on top of Jay’s. “You okay?” Jay asked again. 

“Mhmm,” Mike said, differently this time, nodding slowly. His eyes sank half shut and he laughed in a little huff, squeezing up tight around Jay’s cock in the process. “Fuck. That’s crazy. You’re in me.” 

“Yeah, I-- Am, that’s true.”

They both laughed like idiots and kissed some more. Jay’s heart ached a little for all the time they wasted not doing this in their twenties, not to mention their thirties, but he pushed the thought aside and focused on the present, shifting his hips just a little and laughing fondly when Mike gasped at the feeling. 

“Do that again,” Mike said, clenching his fingers around Jay’s and letting his eyes slide all the way shut. “Please?”

“You’re so polite,” Jay said, kissing Mike’s jaw as he shifted his hips back. He pulled his cock out halfway before pushing back in, and grinned at the gurgling noise of pleasure Mike made for the feeling, his grip on Jay’s fingers tightening. 

“Oh my god,” Mike said, and he reached down to grab two handfuls of Jay’s ass, hard, making Jay gulp and stutter his hips a few times, helpless for how good it felt. “Fuck yeah,” Mike said, grinning when Jay met his gaze again, muggy now. “You can-- Yeah, yeah, ahh _god_ , like that--”

Jay dragged his teeth over Mike’s pounding pulse, leaving marks on his throat as he fucked him harder. He knew he should be offended or something by the way Mike was holding his ass in a death grip with his massive hands, yanking him back and shoving him forward again as if he had to control the pace while Jay lost himself to it, but it just felt too fucking good, letting even this Mike take control of him while they fucked. 

“Jesus,” someone said, and Jay gasped and went still. He’d been so close to coming that he hadn’t heard the door open and close behind them, but the sudden realization that they were no longer alone ripped his orgasm away. He turned and scowled at stud Mike, who was grinning and taking off his pants. “Sorry,” stud Mike said. “Just didn’t expect to see him using you like a sex toy in here.”

“I’m not!” nerd Mike said, breathless and still holding Jay’s ass tight in both hands, like he’d laid claim to it. “We’re-- What do you want?”

“What do you think? To join in, if you don’t mind.” 

“Fuh, fine.” Nerd Mike released one of Jay’s ass cheeks so he could touch Jay’s burning face. “Is it okay with you?” he asked, his voice soft and small. 

“Yeah.” Jay groaned and shifted up onto his hands, pulling his sweaty chest off of nerd Mike’s and turning to watch as the other Mike undressed completely. “What’s, ah, what’s going on out there?” he asked, tipping his head toward the closed office door.

“The skinny one got to live his wildest dream,” stud Mike said. 

“With you or with my Mike?” Jay asked, watching warily as stud Mike went right for the bottle of lube. 

“Yours,” stud Mike said, gripping his hard cock with his other hand. “I haven’t gone off yet, was just watching.” 

“What are you doing?” nerd Mike asked, one hand still held possessively over the crack of Jay’s ass as they both watched the other Mike slicking his cock. He handled as if it was both a weapon and some lifesaving medicine they both needed, letting them watch. 

“Getting ready to give this one his wildest dream,” stud Mike said, nodding at Jay, who couldn’t deny that his ass suddenly felt way too empty. “What do you say?” stud Mike asked, kneeling on the bed and dragging his dry hand through Jay’s hair. “You want to be the meat in this sandwich?”

“Gross,” Jay said. “But-- Yes.”

“Don’t touch his hair,” nerd Mike said, clenching up around Jay’s cock as if to recapture his attention. “He doesn’t like that.”

“Bullshit he doesn’t,” stud Mike said, pushing his fingers through it more roughly. “Look at him leaning into it. Gonna show you what this little bitch really likes.” 

“Jesus! Don’t call him a bitch!”

Jay couldn’t help but laugh, burying his face against nerd Mike’s flushed throat, already overwhelmed by how much he fucking loved this. 

“So Mike fucked shrimp Jay?” he said, making himself calm down for a minute and lifting his face to meet stud Mike’s steely gaze again. “Is the other Jay okay?”

“Yeah, the shrimpy one passed out from sheer slutty bliss after taking that dick and the other one took over. Seemed kinda intense between them so I left them to it-- But who cares about them? Do you need my fingers, or do you just want my dick?”

“You don’t need to, um-- You can just-- Just go slow, I don’t need fingers.”

Jay wasn’t sure he’d even survive that, or any of this, but he was ready to die while pressed between two Mikes if it came to that. He already felt like he was floating, both jealous and happy to hear that Mike and chubby Jay were having some kind of moment. Mike wouldn’t be able to get it up again for a bit if he’d come inside skinny Jay, so maybe they would just kiss and cuddle. He was pretty sure that was what chubby Jay wanted from Mike most of all, though a hand job would probably also be involved. 

“Oh god yeah,” stud Mike said when he was kneeling behind Jay, holding Jay’s ass cheeks apart with two hands and just staring. Jay moaned and arched his back for the first teasing brush of Mike’s thumb over his hole. “Fucking tiny, look at that. Jesus, if I didn’t know this sweet little hole can handle the other one’s cock I would almost feel guilty about what I’m about to do to it.”

“God,” Jay said, laughing against nerd Mike’s throat, where he’d buried his face again while he shivered and waited for the other Mike to push in. “You’re even cornier than my Mike, ah. Didn’t think it was possible.” 

“Hmm.” Mike spanked Jay’s ass hard enough that Jay knew they’d near the skin on skin smack out in the living room. Jay cried out at the sting of pain and moaned through the answering pulse of pleasure that throbbed through him, wanting his Mike to hear that, too. Nerd Mike moaned underneath him when his jerking hips drove his cock in hard. 

“Yeah,” nerd Mike said, squirming under him. “C’mon-- Go,” he said, talking to the other Mike. “Make him do that again, ah. Use your dick, though.”

“Don’t tell me want to do.” 

Lube dribbled down over Jay’s ass crack. Jay was breathing hard, wanting it so bad that the emptiness in his ass felt like an ache. He spread his knees a little wider around nerd Mike and wiggled his hips, so ready for it that he was almost willing to beg this arrogant fucker for his cock. 

“Just brace yourselves,” stud Mike said, dragging his thumb down through Jay’s ass crack and circling his hole when he reached it, taunting him. “I’ve been watching someone who looks like me fuck someone who looks like him for the past whatever-- Ten minutes? I’m all wound up and I’m not gonna be gentle.”

“Fucking-- good!” Jay said, shaking all over with impatience. “Get on with it, then-ahh--!”

Having Mike’s cock thrust into him not exactly fast but without pause or finesse punched the air out of Jay’s lungs and left him sprawled helplessly on top of nerd Mike, who groaned and clenched up tight around Jay’s dick as it speared into him deeper. Jay was immediately overcome, dizzy with too much, too good, and wanting more already, too. 

“Oh fuck,” stud Mike said, leaning over Jay’s back to growl this into his ear, his voice pitched several octaves lower. He grabbed a handful of Jay’s hair and pulled hard, grunting and grinding his hips like he was trying to get his dick in deeper. “Yeahhh, that’s good, jesus yeah, tight--”

Jay whimpered. Nerd Mike made a soft, answering noise and pet Jay’s hair where the other Mike wasn’t pulling it. 

“You okay?” nerd Mike asked, panting underneath him as stud Mike started moving his hips in lazy rolls, using his cock to work Jay open wider before he really started pounding. 

“S’--s’good,” Jay said, drooling these words out onto nerd Mike’s skin. “Fuh, fuck, oh--” 

“He loves it,” stud Mike said, using his grip on Jay’s hair to tug his head back and licking Jay’s throat when he was arched so dramatically that the small of his back ached a little. 

It was true, ache and all-- Jay was already fucking gone, couldn’t think, didn’t want to, just wanted to twitch helplessly between them, pinned by one Mike and buried deep in the other. He felt like he was being consumed, disappearing into them, and he wanted to fall all the way into it, hard as they’d let him. 

“God yeah, you feel so fucking good on my cock,” stud Mike said, teeth scraping Jay’s throat when he spoke, his hips starting to snap a little harder. “You like that dick inside you as much as the other one out there did? Hm? Tell me, slut.” 

“Yes,” Jay said, barely even managing this word, nodding wildly when stud Mike pulled his hair and crying out when the other one-- Maybe, probably?-- pinched his nipples and rubbed his palms over them when they throbbed.

“Jesus, look at him,” nerd Mike whispered, his ass fluttering around Jay’s dick crazily as they both absorbed the force of the other Mike’s increasingly blunt thrusts. “He loves it, oh fuck. He _loves_ it.”

Jay sobbed and tried to nod, not sure he was even capable of moving in any way that they didn’t want him to. 

“Yeah, knew he would.” Stud Mike settled his free hand on Jay’s sweaty hip, clamping it there with bruising strength, holding Jay in place while he started fucking in hard. “Knew it, fucking knew it-- Scream it out for me, yeah, that’s right, good boy--” 

Jay wasn’t sure he was screaming-- He was making some kind of croaking noise, maybe trying to call out Mike’s name, maybe wanting his Mike to come and make sure he wouldn’t actually die from this, maybe.

“Oh, harder,” nerd Mike moaned, squeezing both of Jay’s arms for traction while he drove himself up against Jay’s cock. “That’s so good, yeah, hard, like that--” 

“That puny little dick hasn’t gone off inside you yet?”

“Nh, no, he’s-- Jay, you, ah, you okay?”

Jay didn’t know how to reply. He felt close to coming but also too overstimulated to manage it, the rough slide of stud Mike’s cock inside him dragging him back from the edge of orgasm even as it punched him closer, too. He heard the office door open and shut and whimpered, his eyes closed against the knowledge that another person was going to see him like this, helplessly strung out on loving this so much. Stud Mike went still behind him. 

“Oh, hey,” stud Mike said, a little breathless. “He’s fine. I think.”

“Jay.”

Jay’s eyes fluttered open at the sound of Mike’s voice-- His Mike, the one he loved. Mike was there, kneeling onto the bed and looking concerned, dressed only in a t-shirt. He held Jay’s face in his hand, stroking his burning cheek with his thumb, and seemed to be holding Jay up entirely when stud Mike let go of his wrecked hair. Jay tried to smile at Mike, to show him he was okay, and wasn’t sure he’d entirely succeeded, had no idea how wrecked his face looked at present. 

“Mike,” he managed to say, turning his face against Mike’s hot palm and breathing in the smell of him as Mike moved closer and soothed his other hand gently down over the obscene curve of Jay’s arched back. “Mike, Mike, ah, Mike--” 

“Isn’t that sweet,” stud Mike said, shifting forward just a bit inside him and making him drool onto Mike’s hand. “Said our names three times, one for each of us.” 

“What do you need,” Mike asked when Jay managed to meet his gaze again. Mike wiped at the wet corners of Jay’s mouth and smoothed his hair down, leaned in for a little kiss on the lips. “Hmm?” he asked, keeping his face pushed in close to Jay’s, voice low. “Tell me, baby.”

“You,” Jay said, groping for him weakly. “You, and, they can keep-- But you, too--”

“Okay, we can do that. Jesus, Jay. I wasn’t sure I could get hard again, ha, but. Walked in here and goddamn, look at me.”

Mike sat back on his knees to show Jay how hard he was. Jay whined just for the sight and tried to lurch toward Mike’s cock, mouth first. He was held in place by the other Mikes, and they both moaned for the squeeze and thrust of his squirming. 

“I washed up for you,” Mike said, stroking himself while Jay stared with mindless hunger for him, not even thinking about where Mike’s cock had recently been. “Got myself nice and clean for my best boy. Here you go, open up, sweetheart.”

Distantly, Jay still hated the endearments, but he had to admit they somehow felt right, suddenly, as he closed his eyes and opened his lips for the fat head of Mike’s perfect cock. He sighed around it happily as he took it into his mouth, drooling for it and working his tongue on the underside, wanting to be good, to show Mike that he was better at this than any of them, that he wanted it more than anyone else ever could. Mike tasted nice and clean indeed, faintly of soap. Jay was a weirdo who got off in a big way on the taste of freshly cleaned skin, even if the bitter tang of soap was involved. Mike knew this, of course. He sighed and pet Jay’s hair while Jay sucked him, and seemed to give some kind of signal for stud Mike to start fucking into him again, just shallowly at first. Nerd Mike whimpered beneath him and started moving his hips, too, fucking himself on Jay’s cock as best he could. 

Jay had never been so gone while getting fucked, had never felt so good and full and well taken care of in his life. Their hands soothed over him while he took it, pinching in places but mostly just petting him, and their touches felt like another kind of praise. They were all murmuring to him, but he could barely make out the words. Their hands told him more, when he was in this brainless place: good boy, like that, just take it. He trusted them so much and felt like his whole body was glowing with it, so bright that it could be seen from space. 

Jay sobbed around Mike’s cock a few times when he came, otherwise barely registering it. The intensity of his orgasm spread evenly through every inch of him and didn’t seem to fade after the first intense punch of pleasure, just receded outward in waves that kept breaking through him while stud Mike fucked him hard, pushing Jay's spent dick into the clinging heat of the Mike beneath him until Jay wasn’t sure if it hurt or if he was getting hard again. He didn’t care, didn’t even care that tears were pouring down his face as he held Mike’s cock in his mouth, breathing in jagged huffs through his nose. The last trembling things in him surrendered and for a glorious stretch of time that he couldn’t hope to measure he was nothing but theirs.

At some point nerd Mike unloaded all over Jay’s chest and stud Mike fell forward to crush him down into the mess, coming inside him with a long, low moan against the back of Jay’s ear. Jay was too gone to remember that Mike hadn’t come in his mouth before pulling out, so the hot splash of Mike’s come on his face felt like a fucking miracle. Jay moaned for it in shivering gratitude and sucked it from his lips, then from the tip of Mike’s cock as it smeared across his mouth while Mike held it there, letting Jay lick the last drops from the slit. 

There were words, movements, a loss of the fullness in his ass and the warm wet squeeze around his soft dick. Jay whimpered and blinked around at the proceedings but couldn’t really focus his gaze on anything or make himself care about what was going on. All he knew was Mike was there and that his warm hands seemed to be everywhere all at once: in Jay’s hair and on his trembling shoulders, palming his sore ass, petting his chest, using a tissue to gently wipe the come off his face. 

“Goddamn,” someone who was Mike but not quite Mike whispered. “Jesus. He’s so-- Is he okay?”

“He’s okay.” And that was Mike, the one who’d know. “He gets, uh. Like this, sometimes, after. Back off, let me have him.”

“Hey, no fair. We just, like, did that for the first time!”

“Yeah, we did the hard work to get him like that, you don’t get to hog him now.”

“Oh, you want a cuddle, huh, tough guy? That can be arranged, but this one’s mine.”

Jay smiled against Mike’s shoulder, hearing this as Mike lifted him entirely off the bed, into his arms. He was Mike’s, it was true. Mike smelled so good and felt so right against Jay’s tired body in every way. Mike was here and knew what to do and everything was fine forever. Jay tried to cling but mostly just slumped against Mike’s chest as Mike carried him away, his grip tight and strong under Jay’s thighs. 

“Here you go,” Mike said, settling him into bed-- Different bed, other room. Jay blinked his eyes open and kissed back sleepily when Mike’s lips touched his, Mike’s tongue dipping in soft and warm and brushing against the tip of Jay’s, which for some reason made Jay laugh. He felt punch drunk and so good, buzzing all over, like in some corners of his fucked out body his orgasm was still partying away. 

“Mike,” he said, in complaint when Mike moved away from him.

“Just getting a washcloth for you, don’t worry.” 

Mike said not to worry, so Jay didn’t. He waited obediently until Mike returned from the bathroom with a damp washcloth, and sighed happily for the feeling of Mike turning him this way and that as he cleaned Jay’s chest, then his ass. When he was done, Mike stretched out in bed and pulled Jay into his arms, kissing him again. Jay was better at it now, more awake and himself, pushing his tongue into Mike’s mouth and holding as much of Mike’s big arm in his hand as he could, squeezing. 

“I love you,” Jay said, feeling this spilling out of him before he even really heard it. He blinked until he could focus and saw Mike’s huge eyes widening a little with surprise. “Mike,” Jay said, petting his face and curling his knees up against Mike’s gut, floating on this feeling, unable to stop grinning like an idiot. “So much, okay?”

“You’re sex drunk,” Mike said, and he gave Jay a lopsided grin, stroking his hair. “But okay.”

Jay whined a little, annoyed that Mike didn’t believe him, and tucked his face in against Mike’s throat. He felt the last of some ancient tension draining out of him in way that made him feel like it would never return, a bone-deep relaxation settling into him as Mike’s hand moved over his back and his side, his shoulders. He wanted to say it a million more times, wanted to say it with his whole body: I love you, love this, love you so much. 

Jay wasn’t sure how long he’d dozed against Mike’s chest. He woke up feeling pleasantly drugged, his thoughts slow and unencumbered by any anxiety, Mike warm and wrapped around him. When he lifted his face to Mike’s he laughed under his breath and felt his face heating a little, the first real awareness of how he’d just acted making him slightly embarrassed as he returned to himself. 

“Hey,” Mike said, cupping his cheek and stroking his beard. “Feeling okay?”

“Jesus, yes. Unf, Mike, I-- Uh. Is everybody okay?” Jay dragged his hand over his face and took a deep breath, trying to get his thoughts together. “The clones?”

“Yeah. They’re all in the office if you want to check on them.”

Jay did, but he kissed Mike for a long time first, lingering in the euphoria that fuck had brought on. It was more than the fuck, too-- Something in Mike’s eyes looked different, calmer and sweeter, some new light there having settled into place. 

“That was amazing,” Jay said when he’d managed to sit up on his elbow, his hand still drifting aimlessly through the hair on Mike’s chest. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?” Mike snorted and rolled onto his back, folding his hands behind his head and giving Jay a big grin. “Yeah, you’re welcome. Thank you for, uh. Your participation.”

Jay flicked Mike’s side and leaned down to peck him on the cheek before rolling out of bed to put some clothes on and check on the clones. His legs still felt jellified, and the clothes he’d been wearing were still on the floor in the office. 

“I don’t know if I believe you that they’re all okay after that,” Jay said, putting on fresh clothes from his dresser drawers. He could hear the low murmur of voices from the office, and nobody seemed to be yelling or crying, at least. “You, uh. Fucked shrimp Jay, huh?”

“It was like going back in time,” Mike said, giving Jay a fond, broken-open look. “You know?”

“I know,” Jay said, his voice thickening a little. He cleared his throat and pulled on a shirt. “Be right back.”

“Don’t bug them, I think they’re actually bonding.”

“Really? Huh. Well, my phone’s in there, in my jeans, so. I’ll be quick.”

Leaving Mike’s side felt wrong, but Jay was concerned about the clones and not sure that Mike had evaluated the situation properly. He’d have to see it for himself to believe they were really getting along.

The office door was mostly shut, but not all the way. Jay knocked softly a few times before giving it a gentle push, and his eyebrows shot up when he sat the scene inside the room, on the bed. 

“What?” chubby Jay snapped, looking up from the laptop that was resting on his belly. Nerd Mike was stretched out at his side, his chin on chubby Jay’s shoulder while they watched something together. They had propped the pillows behind their shoulders and were both dressed in their jeans and t-shirts.

“Nothing, just, uh, grabbing the things I left in here,” Jay said, hurrying to gather his clothes from the floor. The room smelled like sex, and the smell made him dizzy, like a spell left in the air that wanted to pull him back into the state he’d been in when he was in here. 

“He’s showing me these videos,” nerd Mike said, lifting his chin from chubby Jay’s shoulder. “About Trek, these comedy things-- My stomach hurts from laughing.” 

“I’ll leave you to it,” Jay said, lifting his hand in an apologetic wave when chubby Jay gave him a look that told him to get lost. He was flushed across his cheeks and seemed content. As Jay backed out of the room, nerd Mike put his chin on chubby Jay’s shoulder again and smiled at the screen, settling in for more. 

Jay heard voices in the kitchen and walked there with his clothes bundled in his arms, glad to find skinny Jay laughing giddily at something that stud Mike had just said. 

“We’re making milkshakes,” skinny Jay blurted when he saw Jay, looking as if he’d just gotten caught doing something he thought he would get in trouble for. Stud Mike looked less concerned, working the blender. 

“You okay?” he asked when he’d turned it off.

“I’m fine,” Jay said. “Are you guys, um. Okay?” 

“Yeah!” skinny Jay said, beaming. “You want one?”

“One-- Oh, a milkshake. No, thanks.”

Stud Mike winked at Jay, looking pleased with himself. Skinny Jay did, too, and when Jay left the kitchen he lingered in the hall listening for a moment, making sure that stud Mike wasn’t being mean or something. 

“Try this,” stud Mike said. 

“Mhmm! Really good!” 

“Missed some there.”

“Where-- Oh--”

“Allow me.” 

Then they were kissing, sounded like, and laughing. 

Jay sighed and walked away, shaking his head. He listened at the office door for a moment, too. He heard laughter from within, and chubby Jay excitedly telling nerd Mike there was another video he had to see, that he’d love it. 

Relieved, though still having a hard time believing this was going so well, Jay dug his phone out from his jeans. There was one clone he still needed to check on.

He’d expected to have to send a text and was surprised to see he already had one from hot Jay. 

Then he read it, and his heart rate rocketed as cold dread closed around him, washing away every good thing he’d been feeling in a powerful wave. 

_help i dont fel gd_

The text was from almost half an hour ago. Jay called hot Jay’s phone, his hand shaking. Maybe it was just a joke, or maybe he’d just had too much to drink--

No answer. Jay sent a text, walking into the bedroom as he typed it.

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked, sitting up when he saw Jay’s face.

“Dunno. Something--”

_What happened? Text me back right now_

No response came, and the phone went to voicemail when Jay tried to call again.

“Hot Jay?” Mike said. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t think so, he’s not answering. Fuck!”

“Okay-- Okay.” Mike vaulted out of bed and started dressing. “Track his phone. We can go check on him-- He’s probably fine, but-- What happened, why’re you freaking out?”

Jay showed him the text. Mike cursed under his breath and dressed faster while Jay tried to call again. 

“Please call me back,” Jay said, hating how weak and worried his voice sounded when he spoke these words into hot Jay’s voicemail. “What is this text? What’s going on? Don’t worry, um. We’re on our way to where your phone is, so if you don’t want us to crash the party you’d better call now.”

The phone tracker gave them a location, and Jay raced to the front door to put on his shoes and coat, Mike following.

“What’s wrong?” skinny Jay asked. He was sitting on the kitchen counter, his legs spread around stud Mike, who looked annoyed to be interrupted in the middle of debauching the Jay who was currently panting for him.

“Hot Jay might be in trouble,” Mike said. “We’re going to check on him.”

“Oh no!” skinny Jay shoved stud Mike away and hopped off the counter. “Why’s he in trouble, what happened?”

“We’ll explain in the car if you want to come,” Jay said. “We’re leaving now.”

“Wait, what?” chubby Jay said, barrelling out of the office with nerd Mike on his heels. “What’s going on, he’s in trouble?”

“We don’t know!” Jay said, again hating how nakedly panicked he sounded. “Just-- Wait here, we’ll be right back--”

“Fuck that!” chubby Jay said, hurrying to grab his shoes. “I’m coming with you.”

“Me too,” nerd Mike said. “I want to help.”

“Yeah, we should all go,” stud Mike said. “If you need help kicking someone’s ass, I’m game.” 

“This is crazy,” Jay said, but he was already out the door, and anyone who wanted to follow him could, as long as they could keep up. He was running, heading for Mike’s car at full speed, a feeling like ice water flooding his veins as he tried not to think about how he’d never recover if something bad had happened to his clone. He was so scared and shaken already, it might as well be happening to him.

**


	3. Chapter 3

Fitting everyone in the car was a bit of a challenge, but they made it work. Mike drove, Jay up front in the passenger seat, and all the clones were packed into the back, skinny Jay perched in stud Mike’s lap and wrapped up in his arms in lieu of a seatbelt. Everyone was tense and quiet as they made their way toward the location of hot Jay’s phone, which was a swanky-looking bar downtown. Jay checked his phone as they headed toward it, his heart dropping when he saw there hadn’t been any calls or texts from hot Jay since that alarming one that began with ‘help,’ which was now sent nearly an hour ago.

Everyone fell in line behind Jay, as if he was in charge, and Jay was fine with that for now but was glad Mike was with him in case he started to fall apart or something. He already felt like he was ready to kill someone as he shoved his way through the crowd inside the busy bar and all but grabbed the front of the bartender’s shirt to get his attention. 

“Oh, you’re back!” the bartender said, then he frowned, noticing the ways that Jay and hot Jay did not resemble each other. “You, uh-- You forgot your phone. Hang on, I’ll grab it for you.” 

“Fuck,” Jay said, his voice breaking when he turned to look at Mike, who had elbowed his way up to the bar beside Jay. “Mike, his phone. His phone’s here, and he’s not.” 

“We don’t know that,” Mike said. “I told the clones to search the place, to look everywhere.”

“Oh god.” Jay turned and craned his neck, his heart slamming harder at the thought of his other two clones being unleashed in here with that instruction. “Mike, they’ve barely even been out of my apartment!”

“Don’t worry, I had them go in pairs.”

“But the Mikes don’t know what the fuck they’re doing either!”

“Jay--”

“Here you go,” the bartender said, interrupting them as he reappeared with hot Jay’s phone. 

“Listen,” Jay said, grabbing it. “When I was in here before, uh-- I wasn’t feeling well, and I don’t remember leaving. I think someone might have put something in my drink. Can you tell me-- When I was here before, was anyone with me?”

“A couple of guys,” the bartender said, nodding. Jay’s stomach dropped. “Shit, I’m sorry, man-- You look okay, where were you when--”

“Never mind, please-- Who were these guys, do you know them? Are they still here?”

“Nah, one of them was a-- You really don’t remember that first guy, the young one? You came in with him and you seemed sober, uh-- I think you said something that pissed him off after a while, though, because he stormed out of here without you. You asked me how much you owed on the tab and looked kinda queasy when I told you. You must remember all this, though?”

“No, just-- What happened next, who was the other guy?”

“Some old man. Fuck, I thought you looked super drunk when he walked out with you, like you could barely stand, but he paid your tab and said you were his grandson, that he was taking you home--”

“Plinkett,” Mike said. 

Jay nodded, already turning to bolt for the door. He paused in his tracks and Mike crashed into him from behind. 

“Get the others,” Jay said, holding his hand out. “I’ll start the car and pull it up front.”

“You-- You’re driving?”

“I’m a faster driver than you-- Mike, Plinkett has him, oh my god! What’s he doing to him, what--”

“Shh, okay, go.” Mike put his car keys in Jay’s upturned hand. “I’ll get the others.”

Jay’s vision tunneled as he ran for the car. He couldn’t think about what Plinkett might be doing to his drugged clone-- He wouldn’t. He just had to get them all there, and fix this somehow. Killing Plinkett might very well be the first step, and he felt ready to do it as he pulled the car up to the front of the bar where Mike was waiting with all four clones, all of them looking shaken. 

“So what’s the plan when we get there?” stud Mike asked as Jay raced toward Plinkett’s house, driving over the speed limit and weaving around slower cars whenever he could. “We gonna kill this guy or what?” 

“I’m considering it,” Jay said.

“Should we call the cops?” Mike asked. 

“No,” Jay said, with regret. “Mike, we illegally made multiple human clones. We’re also harboring what are technically alien lifeforms. They’d take them all away from us.”

“No!” skinny Jay said. 

“That’s not going to happen,” chubby Jay said, consoling him, though his own voice sounded torn up. “Don’t worry.”

“Vigilante justice will suffice,” nerd Mike said. “This old man-- He’s some kinda pervert?”

“I don’t want to talk about that right now,” Jay said, jaw tight. “All that matters is we get there, and-- Mike you go to the front door and distract Plinkett after you show us how you snuck into his basement when you found the cloning machine.” 

Mike agreed to this plan, and soon they were parked down the street from Plinkett’s house, hurrying toward it in the dark. Jay kept tamping down waves of nausea that he didn’t have time for right now. It was his utter, consuming rage-- He’d experienced this in the past, though not for a while. Sometimes he got so angry he threw up just from the force of it, and now that it was mixing with terror he could barely think straight, but the plan wasn’t complex, and sneaking into Plinkett’s basement wouldn’t be difficult. Plinkett had installed a new padlock on the cellar door that Mike had pried open last time, but the bolt cutters Mike had stashed in the nearby bushes when he fled with the clones were still there, and they worked just as well on this lock. When it fell away Mike opened the cellar doors one at a time, careful not to make any noise. They could hear Plinkett’s TV from inside, on the first floor. 

“Be careful,” Mike whispered, leaning down to kiss Jay’s cheek. Jay nodded and turned to climb into Plinkett’s dank basement, heart pounding. 

He wasn’t alone, at least-- the clones followed him in, one at a time. It was dark, but Jay had his phone to use as a flashlight. He didn’t turn the flashlight function on until he heard Mike ringing Plinkett’s front doorbell and listened as Plinkett shuffled across the floor upstairs to answer it. 

The phone light illuminated a cluttered mess of broken junk piled in every corner of the basement, and the sight of it gave Jay’s already tender stomach a claustrophobic jab. He swallowed the feeling of rising bile and heard Plinkett answer the door upstairs. 

“Jay?” he whispered, feeling weird calling his own name with such desperate need for an answer. He swept the phone’s light over the piled clutter a second time and still saw no trace of him. “Start digging through this crap,” he said to the clones, and they hurried to do so. Upstairs, Mr. Plinkett raised his voice and Mike did the same. 

Jay cursed under his breath. He’d told Mike not to make too much of a scene, if possible. While neither they nor Plinkett wanted the cops involved, Plinkett’s neighbors might call them if they heard a commotion. He found a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the basement and decided to risk turning it on, not wanting to think about the fact that his clone might be stashed upstairs in Plinkett’s bedroom and not hidden down here somewhere. 

But Plinkett’s basement was where the old man did all his nefarious business, and as soon as Jay laid eyes on a big crate in the back that was piled with blankets that weren’t dusty like the rest of the crap he’d encountered, his breath caught. He felt it, as if someone had dumped cold water over his head: his clone was in there. 

“Get the bolt cutters!” he said, not even bothering to quiet his voice, because he could hear Mike and Plinkett getting into some kind of physical altercation upstairs, things crashing to the floor overhead and Plinkett shouting in pain.

The crate was padlocked, and when Jay ripped the blankets off of it, he could see that something inside it was moving weakly, alive and twitching.

“Jesus!” chubby Jay said, kneeling down to touch the crate while the Mikes ran for the bolt cutters that had been left outside. Skinny Jay just stood nearby, looking terrified. “He’s-- In here? Hang on!” chubby Jay called, his hands curling around the edge of the crate. “We’re here, we’re gonna get you out!”

“Jay?” Mike called from the top of the stairs. “You found him?”

Jay couldn’t answer, had completely lost his voice. He moved aside when stud Mike reappeared with the bolt cutters and brought them down to cut the lock on the crate. 

The lock fell away, and Jay grabbed the top of the crate at the same time that chubby Jay did, both of them shoving it open. Jay made a kicked little sound when he saw his clone inside, tied up and gagged but still fully dressed and not visibly wounded, his eyes wet and blown wide open as he stared up at them, blinking tears.

“Okay,” Jay said softly, untying the gag while the other two Jays worked on the bindings around his ankles and wrists. Jay could feel him shaking and felt like this sheer terror had jumped from hot Jay’s body into his own as he carefully removed the gag from his clone’s mouth. 

“What the f-fuck,” hot Jay said, sobbing this out and dragging his hands over his face when they were freed. “Juh, jesus, where, what-- Where am I?”

“You’re okay,” Jay said, voice barely working, squeezing his shoulder.

“Oh god,” Mike said, arriving at the bottom of the stairs just as they were all helping hot Jay out of the crate. “Is he all right? Did he hurt you?” he asked, moving through the tangle of their encircling arms to touch hot Jay’s face and examine him for injuries. 

“Who?” hot Jay asked, blinking around at all of them with crazed eyes and swaying on his feet while they all helped him stand on his shaking legs. “All, all I remember is the bar, I don’t-- Don’t know where I am, what are you guys doing here, what the fuck happened--”

“Someone put a knock out drug in your drink,” Jay said, touching the side of hot Jay’s face that Mike wasn’t currently petting. “And he took you back here and tied you up. I got your text-- Oh, god, I’m so sorry!”

Jay batted everyone else away and pulled his clone into his arms, holding him tight. Hot Jay slumped there and sniffled against Jay’s neck, hiding his face and wrapping one trembling arm around his back.

“You’re all gonna get it now!” Plinkett cried from the top of the stairs, where he’d crawled over, presumably after suffering a beating from Mike, poking his head into the basement. “I’ve summoned Xandu to deal with you fucks once and for all!” 

A burst of fire from the first floor that quickly receded seemed to confirm this, accompanied by a unnaturally orange glow. 

“What the--” hot Jay said, hugging both arms around Jay when Jay turned to shield him from whatever was coming, glowering at Plinkett and ready to kill his volcano god boyfriend, too. 

“HARRY,” a booming voice from upstairs said. “YOU FUCKING SLUT.”

“Wha-- Huh?” Plinkett said, lying on his back like an overturned turtle as he wheeled around to face Xandu. “Baby, I need your help--”

“FUCK YOU. I TOLD YOU NOT TO CONSORT WITH THAT GODDAMN CHILD WITH THE GROWN MAN’S BEARD ANY LONGER. AND YET HERE YOU ARE. YOU’VE GOT FOUR OF HIM NOW? YOU PHILANDERING SHITHEEL. I SHOULD DESTROY YOU!”

“What is happening?” nerd Mike whispered, turning to look at each of them as if for an explanation. 

Jay didn’t attempt to explain, just shook his head and pet the back of hot Jay’s hair. He was still trembling, cowering against Jay’s chest.

“Please, baby, it didn’t mean anything!” Plinkett said. “Ha, you know me, I just enjoy the occasional victim, and I haven’t even touched him yet, except to tie him up--”

“SILENCE! YOU’RE COMING WITH ME, TO THE ASTRAL PLANE, UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. YOUR BEHAVIOR AS MY SUBMISSIVE LOVER IS IN NEED OF REALIGNMENT.” 

“Aw, goddammit, can it wait until morning? I’m in the middle of a real good episode of Night Court--” 

“AND I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EXTREMELY RIVETING EPISODE OF JUDGING AMY WHEN YOU SUMMONED ME HERE LIKE A JACKASS. WE LEAVE AT ONCE!”

There was another fireball from the first floor, which somehow didn’t set Plinkett’s garbage-filled old house ablaze. All it did was vanish in thin air, taking Plinkett with it. 

Everyone was silent for a moment after this development. Hot Jay sighed and pulled free from Jay’s grip, stumbling a little and jerking his shoulder when Mike tried to help steady him. 

“I’m fine,” hot Jay said, neither sounding nor looking it. “I just want to go home, fuck.” 

“Was that an alien?” skinny Jay asked, pointing to the first floor. “Like the ones that made us?”

“It was a volcano god,” Jay said. “It’s a long story. Let’s just get the fuck out of here, please. At least this saves me from having to murder Plinkett with my bare hands. For now, anyway.”

They trudged back to the car, and hot Jay laughed bitterly when he saw that they would all have to squeeze into the backseat together. 

“Whose lap am I sitting in?” he asked, trying to mug in his usual way. Jay could see that his lips were shaking. 

“Mine,” chubby Jay said, sliding over to the far end, behind the driver’s seat. He lifted his arms in hot Jay’s direction and beckoned him forward, looking somewhat furious, or at least determined. “Come here.” 

Hot Jay opened his mouth as if to make a sarcastic reply, but his voice choked away and he just climbed into the car. By the time Jay had gotten into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt, hot Jay was curled up in chubby Jay’s lap, gripping his squishy shoulder hard and hiding his face against chubby Jay’s scuffy neck. Chubby Jay held him tight, both arms wrapped around him, chin on top of his head. Skinny Jay sat beside them, on stud Mike’s lap, rubbing hot Jay’s side while he clung to chubby Jay, sniffling. Nerd Mike was squished up between stud Mike and the car door, looking longingly at the tightly entwined Jays on the other side. 

“We’re so glad you’re okay,” skinny Jay said after they’d been driving for a while, everybody quiet. “That must have been so scary.” 

“He doesn’t want to talk about it,” chubby Jay said, and Jay looked up to see hot Jay tightening his grip on chubby Jay’s shoulder to confirm this and thank him, maybe.

“God, what a night,” Mike mumbled. “Felt good to kick Plinkett’s ass, though. I mean, not like it was hard, but, you know. Wish you could have seen it,” he said, reaching over to poke Jay’s shoulder. 

“Seeing Plinkett evaporate in a fireball was good enough for me,” Jay said. He sighed, beginning to accept that things would be okay, and reached over to squeeze Mike’s thigh. “Thanks for that, though,” he said. 

“Anytime, baby.”

Jay shot Mike a look to tell him now was not the fucking time for that. Mike winced, shrugged, and put his hand over Jay’s on his thigh.

Back at the apartment, hot Jay took a long shower. After twenty minutes, Jay went in to check on him. 

“Everything okay in here?” Jay asked. 

“Yeah,” hot Jay said. His voice was a little thick, but he seemed all right when he poked his head out to show Jay he was fine. “Thanks for coming to get me,” he said, blinking rapidly, then he slipped behind the shower curtain again. 

“Of course,” Jay said, his heart feeling heavy. He was also starting to feel extremely tired, ready for bed though it was barely ten o’clock, somehow. “I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s my fault-- I should have known Plinkett would stalk you and try something like this.”

“He’s gone, right?”

“Yeah, for now. I think Xandu might keep him on the astral plane for a century or two. Here’s hoping. He seemed pretty mad.”

“Okay. Well. I’m gonna get out in a minute, uh. Can you get me some clothes?”

“Sure--”

“Some of your stuff, like. Pajamas.”

Jay went to fetch something cozy for him. He settled on his softest old Halloween shirt, featuring a goofy little bat stretching his wings out, and a pair of flannel pants, also his most dignified slippers. 

“Check it out,” Jay said when hot Jay emerged from the bathroom dressed and looking worn out but less shaken up, his hair slicked back in its perfect swoop again. “Just for you,” Jay said, opening his arms toward the office with flourish. 

Hot Jay stepped over and peered inside, grinning when he saw the bed, which Jay had fitted with clean sheets while he showered. 

“The sex bed,” hot Jay said. His smile looked genuine. “Judging by the, uh, scent in here-- I’d guess you’ve already broken it in?”

“Jesus, really? I used air freshener, and the sheets are clean! Or are you just bullshitting me?”

“Wait, you seriously fucked on this thing already?” Hot Jay laughed and slapped his hand over his mouth. “All of you, or--”

“All of the Mikes and me,” Jay said, lowering his voice, kind of bragging. 

“Damn, good for you.” 

Jay couldn’t resist pulling hot Jay into his arms for another crushing hug. Hot Jay made a sound that was almost like a protest but also wrapped his arms around Jay’s back and held on for a while, tight. 

Jay wasn’t sure if anyone had an appetite, and though his own hadn’t returned he made dinner for everyone just in case they wanted any. Mike helped, and the clones puttered around in various rooms but all ended up convening in the office, chatting amongst each other and keeping hot Jay company while he recovered from his ordeal. When Jay went to fetch them for dinner he found them all curled up together with hot Jay in the middle, dozing against chubby Jay’s chest while skinny Jay spooned up behind him. The Mike clones flanked them like extra armor, stud Mike pressed up behind skinny Jay and nerd Mike curled up at chubby Jay’s side. Hot Jay appeared to be the only one who was asleep, but they all shook their heads when Jay asked quietly if they wanted to get up and eat something. Someone had put Tangerine Dream on, and “Alchemy of the Heart” was playing low from the desktop computer’s speakers.

“I’ll eat later,” nerd Mike said, sliding his hand up to cup chubby Jay’s shoulder. “Thanks,” he added, looking sheepish, as if he was thanking Jay for letting him cuddle up with his softest clone.

“I’d eat something if you brought it to me,” stud Mike said. He had his hand pushed up under the back of skinny Jay’s t-shirt and was tickling his fingers over the curve of his spine. Skinny Jay seemed to be enjoying this and laughed under his breath at that remark, his chin settled on hot Jay’s shoulder while he held onto him from behind. 

“Dinner will be in the fridge whenever you guys want it,” Jay said, giving stud Mike a look for being a smart ass. Stud Mike winked, and Jay felt a twinge in his ass as he turned to leave, as if that wink had activated some muscle memory from their earlier fuck.

Already that seemed like it had taken place in another dimension. Mike was on the couch in the living room, waiting for Jay with a look of sweet expectation on his face. Jay dropped directly into Mike’s lap, straddling him and shamelessly throwing his entire exhausted self around Mike’s in a full body hug. 

“Everybody okay in there?” Mike asked, meaning the clones. He had his arms looped around Jay’s back and shoulders, and Jay could barely think straight for how good it felt to just be alone with him and to be held like that, finally. 

“They’re fine,” Jay said, mumbling this against the side of Mike’s neck, feeling like he could fall asleep right there. “They’re all cuddled up around hot Jay. It’s cute, actually.” 

“Aw, I bet.”

“You should go look.”

“Nah, I’m good here.” Mike squeezed Jay a little more tightly against his chest and kissed the side of his head. 

Jay let himself drift off like that for a few minutes, the steady rise and fall of Mike’s chest under his and the pump of Mike’s pulse against the bridge of Jay’s nose drawing him into a peaceful doze. He woke up with Mike shifted a little. 

“Sorry,” Mike said, his fingertips trailing down over the back of Jay’s neck, making him shiver. “Go back to sleep.”

“Nuh, no, I--” Jay shifted off of him and yawned. “Want to sleep in the bed,” he said, tugging on Mike’s sleeve. “With you. Just you, if they’ll let us. All night.” 

“Yeah,” Mike said, smiling in a way that made Jay feel floaty in the way he had after that intense fuck. “Okay. I’ll lock ‘em out if I have no.”

“No, don’t, they’ve had a hard day.”

Jay had a feeling the clones were all fine with sharing the bed in the office for the night anyway. He checked on them once more before joining Mike in the bedroom and found all of them had fallen asleep or at least were pretending to be asleep for the sake of cuddling, in the case of nerd Mike, who peeked at Jay with one eye as Jay crossed the room to turn off the music. Nerd Mike was now wrapped tight around chubby Jay’s back while he cradled hot Jay against his chest, skinny Jay still spooned around his back and stud Mike behind his. 

“Glasses,” Jay whispered, reaching down to remove them for nerd Mike, who kept his eyes closed but shifted his face so Jay could take them off. Jay kissed his cheek and set the glasses on the desk by the computer before leaving the room. 

Jay shut the light in the office out and left the door cracked. He felt unbelievably, maybe embarrassingly content as he crossed the hall and shut the bedroom door behind him, grinning at Mike, who was waiting in the middle of the bed, under the blankets, shirtless. 

“This is going to get expensive,” Jay said, trying to feel less romantic about all of it for the sake of his pride. 

“We’ll make ‘em all get jobs,” Mike said. “Eventually.”

Jay brushed his teeth, washed his face, and was feeling a little hungry by the time he climbed into bed with Mike, but decided he could wait till breakfast. It felt far more necessary to cuddle with Mike in the dark, just the two of them at last and everyone else safely tucked in together across the hall. Jay squirmed a little against Mike’s warm skin under the blankets, beaming at him adoringly in a way he wouldn’t be able to see, because the bedroom was so dark. 

“I was thinking about that week when we met,” Jay said, speaking softly but not quite whispering. “And how you offered me kissing lessons.”

“That was a hail mary,” Mike said. “It was the second to last day of bootcamp and I was afraid I’d never see you again.”

“Aw, you couldn’t already tell I was-- ?”

“You were what, Jay,” Mike said when he stopped there.

“Well. In love with you. Though I wouldn’t have called it that, then.”

“Not sure you even call it that now, unless you’ve just been fucked by three of me.”

“Don’t be dumb,” Jay said, poking at Mike’s gut under the blankets. “It only takes one of you fucking me to get me to admit it. And it’s always true, anyway.”

“It’s crazy how I love them, too,” Mike said, running his fingers through Jay’s hair-- Just right, not worshipfully like nerd Mike or rough like stud Mike, but like Jay belonged to him and would be taken care of thusly. “But not as much as you,” he said.

“What are they gonna do now that there’s uneven numbers?” Jay asked, pushing his face against Mike’s scratchy cheek and closing his eyes. “Are hot Jay and skinny Jay going to fight over stud Mike? I think chubby Jay and nerd Mike are gonna end up really bonding--”

“Oh my god, we have to give them real names.”

“Nooo-- Well. Maybe, but other names wouldn’t feel right!”

Two months later, their crowded household was in the middle of season five of TNG and the clones still didn’t have real names, except that maybe they did, because the designations that Mike and Jay had assigned to them felt like real names by then. Mike had given up his apartment and moved into Jay’s officially, because his clones refused to leave the Jay clones and because Mike didn’t want to be apart from his Jay either. 

Nerd Mike and chubby Jay were joined at the hip and lived together in a large camping tent they’d set up in the back left corner of the living room, which was in view of the TV where they all gathered to watch TNG nightly. They simply unzipped the tent flap, stretched out on their bellies with their shoulders pressed together on the nest of blankets and pillows they kept in there as a bed, and watched from the tent. Some days they only left the tent to take leaks and shower together, and Jay was going to have to do something about the sex smell that lingered in there and emmanated into the living room when they unzipped the flap. Air freshener wasn’t cutting it anymore.

Skinny Jay and hot Jay did not fight over stud Mike. They actually seemed to enjoy sharing him, and the fact that the two of them had worked together to break him like a prize stallion. He was basically their servant, and they loved to boss him around while crawling all over him like his body was their favorite toy. Jay wasn’t sure which of them got off on this most, but stud Mike was definitely in the running and was no less smug than he'd been when he first sauntered into the apartment. The three of them lived together in what was once the office-featuring-sex-bed, now their bedroom. Skinny Jay was still sexually insatiable, and stud Mike was always up to the task, so far as Jay could tell. Hot Jay kept talking about getting back out on the dating scene eventually, but thus far had been content to have his fill of stud Mike and sometimes of Jay’s Mike, too, if Jay was feeling generous or adventurous. There were no real rules about possessiveness, but everybody knew who got first dibs if somebody was feeling territorial, and at the end of the day it was always the same two in the tent, the same three on the office bed, and Mike and Jay alone together in the bedroom. 

Before that, they’d all gather in the living room for their TNG viewing time, after dinner. They had regular places there, too: stud Mike in the middle of the couch that faced the TV, sprawled out like a sated king with hot Jay and skinny Jay at his sides, even hot Jay paying rapt attention to Star Trek now that they were into the best seasons of the show. Nerd Mike and chubby Jay would be in their tent, both transfixed, and Mike would stretch out on the side couch with Jay flopped on top of him most nights, tired after work and dinner and whatever else. 

Guiltily, Jay was the only one who struggled to stay awake during the full TNG hour. He had come to appreciate the show and really tried to make it to the end of each episode, really wanted to, but he was just so comfortable, resting on Mike’s chest or tucked against his side. However they arranged themselves, Jay would try to resist sinking into it as deeply as he could, knowing that meant risking falling asleep, but it was no use. It felt too good to just drape himself onto Mike and settle in while Mike enjoyed his Trek time, even if it meant needing an explanation later for how the crew got out of the time loop or solved the diplomatic disaster.

“Our lives are like this show,” Jay said one night, close to drifting off with his cheek pressed over Mike’s heartbeat, Mike’s knuckles stroking up and down over his back. “You know?”

“You’re so right,” Mike said, leaning down to kiss Jay’s ear. “In so many ways.”

“Shh,” hot Jay said, shooting them a look. “Some of us are trying to watch this.” 

Chubby Jay snickered, and nerd Mike grinned, bumping their shoulders together inside the window of the tent. Hot Jay didn’t dignify this amusement with a response, just huffed and rearranged himself on the couch, pulling stud Mike’s arm across his chest as if it was a blanket and watching intently as Wesley Crusher did something heroic onscreen in a special guest appearance. Skinny Jay giggled under his breath and exchanged a look with stud Mike but didn’t otherwise comment.

They all made fun of hot Jay because it was obvious, though he denied it: Wesley was his favorite character.

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEME SONGS:
> 
> [Fuck Em Only We Know by BANKS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oNpcKxwqVY)
> 
> and, mostly for the title but also for 'I ran into a staggerin' fool who said he knew my name,' one of my favorite songs ever discovered via fanfic (it was Reno/Cloud FFVII fic posted on FF.N in like 2002 lol): 
> 
> [The Likes of You Again by Flogging Molly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W_WBMfj8DU)
> 
> Thanks for reading, friends!! <3


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